Finished my biology today...hopefully forever. It also rained today. I polished up on my Japanese and built a giant lego tower barely taller than Marc. I also drank some sake/juice stuff and found out alchohol gives me a headache. Which is good, maybe this will be a deterrant from drinking. Looked at a map and found that Japan uses manji (aka the swastika) to mark national parks and such so all you WWII buffs can suck it, the swastika hasn't lost any face here.
Tomorrow I am going to Akihabara all alone...From the house all the way there. I'll meet Yukiko's brother (which now that I think about it, I don't know his name...). Tough parts going alone but at least I'll have my fractured Japanese and a cellphone to guide me. Also gonna wear my Japanese GF shirt so if I don't come back from my adventure, at least hope that I didn't go missing because I couldn't find a train.
Also I'm freakin' out because I have 2 awesome games I want to buy (in Japanese :D) and I don't know which one to go for. There's Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G (hohoho written all in English too) and Persona. I can't decide whether to buy them here and have 'em as collectables (and buy them again...in the states) or only buy one. The real question is can MHP2ndG work with US versions or is there gonna be some trouble.
My money is on trubble so I'm going to probably buy Persona and get some EPIC MONSTER HUNTER STUFFED ANIMALS! Omigosh now where am I gonna find those? I saw an arcade machine with them in there...could I really blow 1000 yen trying to pull 1 stuffed toy out? Meh, I'll figure out something with this Monster Hunter thing. I'm a Monster Hunter fan to the CORE! Which means I'm crazy.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
May 4th
Went to Navy base where Corey works. Discovered that the car GPS greys out all the roads in the base. Then went to some 150 year anniversery thingy and saw a giant robotic spider move around. I then wished I was wearing my "Wanted: Japanese Girlfriend" shirt. Lots of cuties around.
Afterwards we went to a convience store and I talked to the clerk. It went something like this. "????????" I look at the touch screen and pull out the right amount. He says. "O! Hai! ????????" And then asks me a question and won't give me the ice cream. "Ehhh...Hai?" I stutter back. And he looks at me knowing I don't understand. I then wave Yukiko over and she says something and the guy puts a sticker on my ice cream and hands it back. "Arigatou Gozaimashita." I reply bowing a little. I asked what he wanted and Yukiko said he asked if I wanted a bag.
Watched Cinderella III and afterwards built some train armor with Marc before Yukiko handed him the phone. He talked a bit and then said to me "Here, she'll teach you Japanese." I was all like "...ummm..." and he thrusted the phone to me.
"Mushi mushi?" I asked.
"Marku?" A woman replied.
"IIe. Nicholas."
"Oh! Nihon wa dou desu ka?"
"errrr...dou ka?" I replied uncertain.
"Hai."
"I'm sorry, my Japanese is pretty bad."
"Oh! I don't speak English." She replied back.
"Sou desu...Yukiko ka?"
"Hai."
and I handed the phone off. These situations are pretty awkward and not good on the phone at all. Marc said she would teach me Japanese but I don't think he understands that, on the phone, there needs to be a common language. If it was in person, you can just point to stuff and say it but on the phone, that doesn't work too well.
I also got an email today from my bank. They charge 1% fee on all transactions with equals $7.70 if I spend all my money using VISA.
Afterwards we went to a convience store and I talked to the clerk. It went something like this. "????????" I look at the touch screen and pull out the right amount. He says. "O! Hai! ????????" And then asks me a question and won't give me the ice cream. "Ehhh...Hai?" I stutter back. And he looks at me knowing I don't understand. I then wave Yukiko over and she says something and the guy puts a sticker on my ice cream and hands it back. "Arigatou Gozaimashita." I reply bowing a little. I asked what he wanted and Yukiko said he asked if I wanted a bag.
Watched Cinderella III and afterwards built some train armor with Marc before Yukiko handed him the phone. He talked a bit and then said to me "Here, she'll teach you Japanese." I was all like "...ummm..." and he thrusted the phone to me.
"Mushi mushi?" I asked.
"Marku?" A woman replied.
"IIe. Nicholas."
"Oh! Nihon wa dou desu ka?"
"errrr...dou ka?" I replied uncertain.
"Hai."
"I'm sorry, my Japanese is pretty bad."
"Oh! I don't speak English." She replied back.
"Sou desu...Yukiko ka?"
"Hai."
and I handed the phone off. These situations are pretty awkward and not good on the phone at all. Marc said she would teach me Japanese but I don't think he understands that, on the phone, there needs to be a common language. If it was in person, you can just point to stuff and say it but on the phone, that doesn't work too well.
I also got an email today from my bank. They charge 1% fee on all transactions with equals $7.70 if I spend all my money using VISA.
May 3rd
Marc, Marika, and I took Ku on a walk around and explored some of the nearby parks and stuff. We then went to the 100 yen shop (aka Dollar Store) where I found some cool looking cards. Yukiko bought some gelatin/juice hybrid drink that tasted strange but was okay (later saw a commercial for it) and got Corey's computer working all the way.
On the computer, I wrestled with Jonah over Steam so I could talk to my friends and made Casey and Jonah think I was an Account Jacker. Finally got on and let everyone know that I'm alive and Japan is pretty cool.
Went to Marc's swimming lessons at some Army base and realized I needed to wear underwear with my swim trunks, then discovered I need underwear with my shorts. So I held onto my pants a whole lot. Yukiko let me use one of Corey's belts which it turns out a lot of my shorts are too big.
I finally realized that I've seen no Anime but Dragon Ball. Not even Dragon Ball Z, the original Dragon Ball.
-Wrote notes down in notebook
On the computer, I wrestled with Jonah over Steam so I could talk to my friends and made Casey and Jonah think I was an Account Jacker. Finally got on and let everyone know that I'm alive and Japan is pretty cool.
Went to Marc's swimming lessons at some Army base and realized I needed to wear underwear with my swim trunks, then discovered I need underwear with my shorts. So I held onto my pants a whole lot. Yukiko let me use one of Corey's belts which it turns out a lot of my shorts are too big.
I finally realized that I've seen no Anime but Dragon Ball. Not even Dragon Ball Z, the original Dragon Ball.
-Wrote notes down in notebook
Saturday, May 2, 2009
May 3rd 5:54pm; 8:54am
So yesterday we went to Shibuya. We we went on a little walk and I put 5000 yen on a pass card. We then rode a train for a while and the train went from a few people to a whole bunch of people. Finally we got there.
=Sorry if this is sounding lame compared to my other writings, I'm awake at the right times but my mind needs time to get used to the time change=
At Shibuya, we escaped into a huge crowd and had to hold hands so I didn't get lost. We walked around and went to a store called Tokyu Hands and there I found some awesome toys I think Jonah and Andrew would like, but I'll wait til later to see if I want to get them the toys or find something better.
There were arcade shops all over. All the games were fighting games though. They had Street Fighter IV, the arcade game in HD. All we have in America is the first Soul Calibur game running Dreamcast graphics.
Along with the fighting games were the claw games that cost 100 yen. I looked around for some stuff I would like and found a Monster Hunter stuffed cat machine. I was all like "Nooo flippin' waaaaay..." Aparantly Monster Hunter is cool enough to have their own stuffed toy machines in Japan but not cool enough to release Monster Hunter 2 for Playstation 2 in America.
We also went to a music store called HMV and looked around. They had a ton of songs, I found Offspring, Fallout Boy, and a ton of Western albums. We went up to the 2nd floor and I saw the manga. Scanning the shelves I found the one I wanted, "Claymore 1". I already own it in English but having it in Japanese is so much better.
This is the first time I had to test my Japanese too. I asked Corey what to say (and mentally compared it to mine). "Mahn-Stah Huhn-Tah are-e-mas kah?" (not sure if I should type it how it sounds or type how it is in romaji). He was a little confused and went and searched google. After some searching and a phone call he held up two fingers in an X. I said "O, hai. Arigatou Gozaimasu." Did a little head bow and went to pay for my Claymore book.
There I paid with my VISA card (and I need to email or call my bank to see how much they charge to convert currency) and was talking with Corey when he said "She [the clerk] is waiting for you." I looked over and she was politely waiting for me to hand me my bag. I thank you and we walked away. Corey said it was because it is impolite to interrupt people talking. Thats way better than most people in America who just want you to pay and get out.
We then walked towards the 1st floor when Corey asked if I wanted to go up. What could it hurt? I thought and we went upstairs. There I saw some Green Day magazines and decyphered them to say Green Day was coming back after 5 years (or something like that). There was also a semi-big crowd pushing around some stage.
Aparently some Japanese pop idols were doing a promo. After a bit of waiting (and the security guards eyeing us for not hanging out in the crowd) the 3 Japanese girls jump on stage and started singing. They did two songs with a full routine. This is when I noticed the crowd was only guys and about half were mirroring the routine. I couldn't help but laugh when they would raise one arm and wave a finger before pulling back in a fist, their lips mouthing the lyrics.
It was pretty funny and I wouldn't have gotten a free concert if it wasn't for Corey asking if I wanted to see more. Yukiko and the kids came up and we left to explore more.
We ate at some curry shop and then headed back home. I learned about express trains versus local trains and Japanese customer service when asking about the bathrooms and that Japanese people won't crowd Gaijin if they have a choice.
Finally we got home to rest. After some computer problems and fixes we went to a electronic store where I found Persona for PSP at 4600ish yen. Too much for me, I'll find better prices later. We also explored and found USB 1 GB Flash drives for 3500 yen but they also came with software and games, so you get a storage device and software. I also learned that Japan makes prices based on demand. We found a PSP for 6000 yen! (thats ~$60).
Afterwards we went to a book store where we asked for "Mahn-stah hahn-tah hone." (spelt Monster Hunter Hon). The clerk was like. "Gamu ka?" And Corey said. "Iie, hon, hon." After a bit of searching they found my Monster Hunter Manga that I can read but not understand!
So Today I bought 3 books for 1000 yen. Waaaay cheaper than in America. The Monster Hunter manga was 250 a piece where it would have been $8 in the USA.
Afterwards I went home and thought about how odd their house design was. They have locks on a gate you can lean over and unlock, two locks on the front door, a lock on the living room door (when there is another sliding door that cannot be locked), a lock on the toilet door but no lock on the washroom door.
I took my little sitdown shower and then the hottub soak and Mark and Marika kept knocking on the door and opening it then giggling. After they went away, I tried to open the door but it was locked! I didn't wanna break anything so I didn't pull too hard but after looking at the door up and down, I found there to be a tiny lock at the bottom. I unlocked it and looked back at the door and it wasn't available on the outside. I must have pushed it or something by accident.
So all I gotta do now is Email my bank and asked about currency conversion fees.
=Sorry if this is sounding lame compared to my other writings, I'm awake at the right times but my mind needs time to get used to the time change=
At Shibuya, we escaped into a huge crowd and had to hold hands so I didn't get lost. We walked around and went to a store called Tokyu Hands and there I found some awesome toys I think Jonah and Andrew would like, but I'll wait til later to see if I want to get them the toys or find something better.
There were arcade shops all over. All the games were fighting games though. They had Street Fighter IV, the arcade game in HD. All we have in America is the first Soul Calibur game running Dreamcast graphics.
Along with the fighting games were the claw games that cost 100 yen. I looked around for some stuff I would like and found a Monster Hunter stuffed cat machine. I was all like "Nooo flippin' waaaaay..." Aparantly Monster Hunter is cool enough to have their own stuffed toy machines in Japan but not cool enough to release Monster Hunter 2 for Playstation 2 in America.
We also went to a music store called HMV and looked around. They had a ton of songs, I found Offspring, Fallout Boy, and a ton of Western albums. We went up to the 2nd floor and I saw the manga. Scanning the shelves I found the one I wanted, "Claymore 1". I already own it in English but having it in Japanese is so much better.
This is the first time I had to test my Japanese too. I asked Corey what to say (and mentally compared it to mine). "Mahn-Stah Huhn-Tah are-e-mas kah?" (not sure if I should type it how it sounds or type how it is in romaji). He was a little confused and went and searched google. After some searching and a phone call he held up two fingers in an X. I said "O, hai. Arigatou Gozaimasu." Did a little head bow and went to pay for my Claymore book.
There I paid with my VISA card (and I need to email or call my bank to see how much they charge to convert currency) and was talking with Corey when he said "She [the clerk] is waiting for you." I looked over and she was politely waiting for me to hand me my bag. I thank you and we walked away. Corey said it was because it is impolite to interrupt people talking. Thats way better than most people in America who just want you to pay and get out.
We then walked towards the 1st floor when Corey asked if I wanted to go up. What could it hurt? I thought and we went upstairs. There I saw some Green Day magazines and decyphered them to say Green Day was coming back after 5 years (or something like that). There was also a semi-big crowd pushing around some stage.
Aparently some Japanese pop idols were doing a promo. After a bit of waiting (and the security guards eyeing us for not hanging out in the crowd) the 3 Japanese girls jump on stage and started singing. They did two songs with a full routine. This is when I noticed the crowd was only guys and about half were mirroring the routine. I couldn't help but laugh when they would raise one arm and wave a finger before pulling back in a fist, their lips mouthing the lyrics.
It was pretty funny and I wouldn't have gotten a free concert if it wasn't for Corey asking if I wanted to see more. Yukiko and the kids came up and we left to explore more.
We ate at some curry shop and then headed back home. I learned about express trains versus local trains and Japanese customer service when asking about the bathrooms and that Japanese people won't crowd Gaijin if they have a choice.
Finally we got home to rest. After some computer problems and fixes we went to a electronic store where I found Persona for PSP at 4600ish yen. Too much for me, I'll find better prices later. We also explored and found USB 1 GB Flash drives for 3500 yen but they also came with software and games, so you get a storage device and software. I also learned that Japan makes prices based on demand. We found a PSP for 6000 yen! (thats ~$60).
Afterwards we went to a book store where we asked for "Mahn-stah hahn-tah hone." (spelt Monster Hunter Hon). The clerk was like. "Gamu ka?" And Corey said. "Iie, hon, hon." After a bit of searching they found my Monster Hunter Manga that I can read but not understand!
So Today I bought 3 books for 1000 yen. Waaaay cheaper than in America. The Monster Hunter manga was 250 a piece where it would have been $8 in the USA.
Afterwards I went home and thought about how odd their house design was. They have locks on a gate you can lean over and unlock, two locks on the front door, a lock on the living room door (when there is another sliding door that cannot be locked), a lock on the toilet door but no lock on the washroom door.
I took my little sitdown shower and then the hottub soak and Mark and Marika kept knocking on the door and opening it then giggling. After they went away, I tried to open the door but it was locked! I didn't wanna break anything so I didn't pull too hard but after looking at the door up and down, I found there to be a tiny lock at the bottom. I unlocked it and looked back at the door and it wasn't available on the outside. I must have pushed it or something by accident.
So all I gotta do now is Email my bank and asked about currency conversion fees.
Friday, May 1, 2009
May 2nd 6:08pm; 9:08am
So it all went alright. I beat the timechange monster in one day and met some very nice people on the trip here. First I met a BSU basketball player visiting her mother in Orange County. After the first flight to SFO (San Francisco Airport) I tried to look up my flight and met a Navy Officer who was also flying to Narita. He and I found out flights (turned out to be seperate) and kept each other company during the 5 hour layover. We talked about a lot of stuff and it turns out he was from McCall and was visiting his dying mother and now returning to Japan for his wife. During the huge 12 hour flight, I met a nice man and we talked about stuff but nothing really big or long. Eventually I slept for 1 or 2 hours and then watched 2 and 1/2 movies.
I caught the ending of "When the Earth Stood Still", some rugby movie, and "Marley and Me". I almost cried during most of these movies because they all focused on love and friendship, which everyone at home (and Cory and Yukiko) had given me more than I could ever use.
But before we left the plane, a quarintine thing happened where they heat scanned us for Swine Flu and we had to fill out 3 papers. They asked us to not film or take pictures after the quarintine people left. One guy was filming it all along :P.
Then I arrived and had to weave my way through customs and such. I finally made it out to find Cory right there waiting for me. We changed some dollars to yen and then left for the long car ride back.
During my flight I saw Japan as a patchwork of prepared land for development but down on the ground everything looked insane. The roads weave and dodge around, its no wonder all cars (or at least Cory's) had a GPS. All the buildings and architecture reminded me of junkyard towns. Where stuff is build all weirdly and the buildings look old. In a tunnel they had different bathroom tile sets running along the wall. But I was awesome. I found myself thinking "They just built and then said 'Oh snap! We gotta build roads too'". The house is very nice and I used the toilet with a seatwarmer and anus squirter. I then took a Japanese shower thingy.
You sit on a stool with a shower and a facet and just wash, then you uncover a deep tub and take a mini hottub. Screw spending thousands on a hottub, you can soak anytime in the house. No chemicles, no wasted water.
The Japanese are also big on energy saving, so even though Yukiko has a drier, she dries them outside. Oh! And all the cars are super skinny but so are the roads. Like those square scion cars are very skinny. Today I'm going to Shibuya with Cory (I think). Eventually I can just ride a train to Shibuya on my own but its waaaaaay too soon for that stuff.
I called my family told them I didn't die in a firey explosion. So alls good there.
I love you guys, now I'm going to eat breakfast.
I caught the ending of "When the Earth Stood Still", some rugby movie, and "Marley and Me". I almost cried during most of these movies because they all focused on love and friendship, which everyone at home (and Cory and Yukiko) had given me more than I could ever use.
But before we left the plane, a quarintine thing happened where they heat scanned us for Swine Flu and we had to fill out 3 papers. They asked us to not film or take pictures after the quarintine people left. One guy was filming it all along :P.
Then I arrived and had to weave my way through customs and such. I finally made it out to find Cory right there waiting for me. We changed some dollars to yen and then left for the long car ride back.
During my flight I saw Japan as a patchwork of prepared land for development but down on the ground everything looked insane. The roads weave and dodge around, its no wonder all cars (or at least Cory's) had a GPS. All the buildings and architecture reminded me of junkyard towns. Where stuff is build all weirdly and the buildings look old. In a tunnel they had different bathroom tile sets running along the wall. But I was awesome. I found myself thinking "They just built and then said 'Oh snap! We gotta build roads too'". The house is very nice and I used the toilet with a seatwarmer and anus squirter. I then took a Japanese shower thingy.
You sit on a stool with a shower and a facet and just wash, then you uncover a deep tub and take a mini hottub. Screw spending thousands on a hottub, you can soak anytime in the house. No chemicles, no wasted water.
The Japanese are also big on energy saving, so even though Yukiko has a drier, she dries them outside. Oh! And all the cars are super skinny but so are the roads. Like those square scion cars are very skinny. Today I'm going to Shibuya with Cory (I think). Eventually I can just ride a train to Shibuya on my own but its waaaaaay too soon for that stuff.
I called my family told them I didn't die in a firey explosion. So alls good there.
I love you guys, now I'm going to eat breakfast.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
April 29th 8:25pm; 11:25am
Tomorrow I go!
Today grandma Teri came over and we had a wonderful time eating pizza and talking. Then went home and placed the final nail in English's coffin. Finally I went to Biology and found out I have 2 things left to do in that class. This made me remember I still have the Comm 101 Final. PLEASE GOD LET ME PASS WITHOUT GOING TO CLASS.
Predictions...
Well I gotta spaz out about packing, not having video games for 5 weeks (or at least PC games), and how I got 3 assignments left before I am free from school. PLEASE GOD SOMEONE REMIND ME D:
thats a sad mouth open face for those who dont know.
Today grandma Teri came over and we had a wonderful time eating pizza and talking. Then went home and placed the final nail in English's coffin. Finally I went to Biology and found out I have 2 things left to do in that class. This made me remember I still have the Comm 101 Final. PLEASE GOD LET ME PASS WITHOUT GOING TO CLASS.
Predictions...
- Not sleep well
- Not wake up gracefully
- Constant Shivering
- Freaking out as soon as I'm on the 1st plane
- Disorientation at San Francisco
- Exchange Dollars for Yen
- Catch 2nd Flight
- Be so board on 2nd flight, I almost consider escaping through the toilet
- Make it to Japan
- Start shivering again
- Almost throw up at the awesomeness and busyness around me
- Barely find my luggage
- Remember I forgot my Retainer
- Curse a lot and then wait for Cory and Yukiko + kids
- Not see them for a while and start to freak out
- See them
- Take a 3 hour walking/riding/driving/something way to their house
- Figure out my room is made of paper
- Barely remain awake until night time
- Sleep until 3am there, 12pm here
- Somehow adjust and have a great time!
Well I gotta spaz out about packing, not having video games for 5 weeks (or at least PC games), and how I got 3 assignments left before I am free from school. PLEASE GOD SOMEONE REMIND ME D:
thats a sad mouth open face for those who dont know.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
April 26th 10:49pm; 1:49pm
So let it be known that this weekend was the final weekend of Casey's deck. With all remains banished to the garbage pile, its just a cement patio now.
I also finished my stages of "Big Event". Every time a big event happens, I go through several phases.
1. Ignoring the event.
So I do my normal stuff until the next stage hits.
2. Devastating Event
Such as my car breaking.
3. Self Sabotage
Such as me pissing off my mom and making stupid mistakes along the way.
4. Depression
Is this really the right decision? That money could help me in so many other ways. ARG!
5. Acceptance and Determination
This is a once in a lifetime experience. Even if the money could be put to better use, it won't make my life richer. So I put together a list of things that must be done and am going to do them Monday.
I am thankful for everything everyone has done for me. Without this trip, my car wouldn't be broken, I would not have saved my money, I would be skating through school giving the same average amount of effort.
Everytime I hear this song, I feel like crying.
Adam's Song by Blink 182
"I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, time goes by
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone"
This is a song about suicide . . . and suicide is for the weak. Those who don't have enough willpower to tough out the hard times. There are people who have watched their families die of starvation in front of them, your forefathers gave their blood for you.
It sounds heartless but so do a lot of truths. Suicide is for the weak, the dumb, and the idle. There are times to die and because you feel life isn't going your way isn't one of them. It is time to die when you stand up for what you believe in. It's time to die when protecting something you love. And not the trashy love. The true love. The love between brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers.
If anyone sees any signs of depression or mental unstability, don't ignore it. One person's kind words can help. Today I felt like shit. I felt the world close up on me, a gaping maw of a dead-end future ready to swallow me up. Well then some kind words were said. Said I was a doing a good job and I put my all in my work. It came from someone who doesn't judge people lightly, someone who I put a lot of trust in.
This is when the depression stage broke away and the determination stage came back...with a vengeance.
If you see someone in need, never ignore them, never assume that they are okay or someone has already helped them, never let an opportunity to save a life slip away.
I don't think people understand how huge a life is. A life is so big, it literally affects everyone world wide. Every choice affects people's moods, actions, feelings, and views. The world is a circle and eventually you'll find your decisions take form.
I got a couple more views on...
Guns - the coward's weapon
Social Dissonance - when you forget people are alive
Media Scare Tactics - making you believe everyone is a murderer since the 2001
Blind Ignorance - when logic denies faith, you'll choose faith
Life or Death Situation - everyone thinks they will act the right way
I'll hopefully look back on this post and type about this stuff.
Before you go, remember the Virginia Tech Massacre could have been prevented by kind words.
"I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow just held such better days"
I also finished my stages of "Big Event". Every time a big event happens, I go through several phases.
1. Ignoring the event.
So I do my normal stuff until the next stage hits.
2. Devastating Event
Such as my car breaking.
3. Self Sabotage
Such as me pissing off my mom and making stupid mistakes along the way.
4. Depression
Is this really the right decision? That money could help me in so many other ways. ARG!
5. Acceptance and Determination
This is a once in a lifetime experience. Even if the money could be put to better use, it won't make my life richer. So I put together a list of things that must be done and am going to do them Monday.
I am thankful for everything everyone has done for me. Without this trip, my car wouldn't be broken, I would not have saved my money, I would be skating through school giving the same average amount of effort.
Everytime I hear this song, I feel like crying.
Adam's Song by Blink 182
"I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, time goes by
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone"
This is a song about suicide . . . and suicide is for the weak. Those who don't have enough willpower to tough out the hard times. There are people who have watched their families die of starvation in front of them, your forefathers gave their blood for you.
It sounds heartless but so do a lot of truths. Suicide is for the weak, the dumb, and the idle. There are times to die and because you feel life isn't going your way isn't one of them. It is time to die when you stand up for what you believe in. It's time to die when protecting something you love. And not the trashy love. The true love. The love between brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers.
If anyone sees any signs of depression or mental unstability, don't ignore it. One person's kind words can help. Today I felt like shit. I felt the world close up on me, a gaping maw of a dead-end future ready to swallow me up. Well then some kind words were said. Said I was a doing a good job and I put my all in my work. It came from someone who doesn't judge people lightly, someone who I put a lot of trust in.
This is when the depression stage broke away and the determination stage came back...with a vengeance.
If you see someone in need, never ignore them, never assume that they are okay or someone has already helped them, never let an opportunity to save a life slip away.
I don't think people understand how huge a life is. A life is so big, it literally affects everyone world wide. Every choice affects people's moods, actions, feelings, and views. The world is a circle and eventually you'll find your decisions take form.
I got a couple more views on...
Guns - the coward's weapon
Social Dissonance - when you forget people are alive
Media Scare Tactics - making you believe everyone is a murderer since the 2001
Blind Ignorance - when logic denies faith, you'll choose faith
Life or Death Situation - everyone thinks they will act the right way
I'll hopefully look back on this post and type about this stuff.
Before you go, remember the Virginia Tech Massacre could have been prevented by kind words.
"I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow just held such better days"
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