May 31st

So I have a few things to talk about...

John Visher

I went to Sports Day, a school held event where students participate in relay races, and almost every other sport was Japanese so all I can name is the relay race.

There I met John Visher, a lawyer who felt isolated because of his gaijin-status. He has been in Japan for over 20 years and has a wife and a child. He told me many important things to know about being employed in Japan. The greatest piece of knowledge is "You cannot be fired in Japan. They have to bribe you into resigning." Which is funny because a lot of people in Japan don't know this.

Yukiko and him traded info and he told me he knew a guy in Boise named Dave Crosslin who moved to Boise in 2004. He has 3 girls and 3 boys with his Japanese wife. Also two of the girls are 17 and 22...so wink wink. Dave worked (still does?) as a translator. He and all his kids speak fluent Japanese and English. That's awesome.

Tug of War

So at Sports Day, I had a chance to participate in the parental tug-o-war. I expected it to be the lean back and pull thing in America but the Japanese version is very different.

There is no anchor fat guy at the end. Everyone pulls in this circular motion. Like loose PULL loose PULL loose PULL and it takes a while to get the rhythm. Also they use a manly rope that doesn't bend very easily, its like rope you would use to tie ogres or something.

Sleeping In

Today I also slept in really late. It was an expiriment. Turns out sleeping in now makes me feel guilty. I'll probably give it up.

TV Nudity

I'm watchin' some show where they take 40 year old houses and modernize them. In a clip, it shows the dad walk outside the house, butt naked except for a tiny washclothe covering his crotch, past the padeo, and into the smallest bathtub I have ever seen.

Later I was watching a comedy show where some guy had a few volunteers (or something) and a colon camera. He pointed the camera up noses and in ears and then up his shirt showing his nipple. He then shoved it in his female patient's (they were all female except him) and showed her nipple.

So it it like...no topless and no genitals? Oh but the next part of the show was hilarious...oh man...I cried at how funny it was.

Japanese Hair

So I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but the Japanese have insane hair. All those anime and game characters with unreal hair...well thats how hair works in Japan. I'm not joking...at all...I've seen some awesome hair during this trip.

Water Recycle

The japanese are also crazy about recycling. Those juice boxes? Recycle. Plastic spoons? Recycle. And get this part-

The toilet has two flushes; little flush and big flush (guess which one is for what). After you flush, a little facet starts releasing water to rinse your hands. Now this water is the water the toilet uses to flush. Its almost as though the Japanese know flushing the toilet with dirty hand water is cleaner than 1 gallon of drinkable water.

Next...the bathtub. The Japanese use a hand shower thingy to wash everything. Once they are done, they rinse off and sink into a huge bath. When they are done relaxing, they get out and later use that bath water to wash their clothes. The water is cleaner than American bath water though because they washed before entering it.

Thats some good recycling :B maybe America will be that smart someday.

May 29th+30th

May 29th

I went to Shonan highschool. I payed 600 yen for an umbrella and forgot the train directions there. Luckily I remembered it was the stop before Fujisaw. So no trouble getting there. Once there I immediatly spent 100 yen on a 30 second conversation with Yukiko and didn't get any change back for excess time. I then visited with Takeda-Sensei about stuff and watched his classes. They were much more behaved than the middle school. I also met the English-understanding but Japanese-speaking vice principal. I thanked him several times.

At lunch, I only had 177yen and no place at all took my debit card (I later learned that the Japanese don't have debit cards, only credit cards [even though charging debit is the same as charging credit] and they frown on debt. This is why only a few places accept plastic. Its also why Japan is far more debt free than America). Luckily another English teacher who spoke very well lended me 50 yen for a drink. I thanked him and we talked a lot. He was very funny and I enjoyed my time with him.

After lunch several students fell asleep, I didn't blame them, I was right there to passing out. I learned an important trick that day, "If you're going to teach something boring, make it interactive." After a few more classes, I said thanks, revisited everyone and left.

May 30th

I'm having a sneaking suspition that our point system is a bust. We might have to handle this old school, with beatings and timeouts. I'm all for that, these kids needs to learn to quit crying and whining. The only reason I haven't resorted to this is because Obaba-san (grandma) is spending the night. But next time, them kids be getting beat. Jonah knows...Jonah knows.

Today I also spent most of my time online, drinkin' milk tea and getting a killer headache. I've decided to host my stories and books and junk on thefeckless.com, a useless website Matt (GK8000) is hosting. We first made the website to be an epic awesome website but after a reformat (deleting everything off a computer), work was lost and I lost interest.

But soon I'll put my books and stuff on it. Soon meaning as soon as Matt figures out why I can't connect... I also should start writing more of Wolf's Cry. But I'm a little stuck...well not really. I got 3 versions so far.

ORIGINAL = I typed it and that was it, no re-reading or editing at all since the day it was written.

REVISED = I read through it and edited some stuff.

EXPANDED = It's an expiriment where I expand the story more before SPOILER nick dies SPOILER. This might alter the entire story and become a counter-factual (an alternate reality). So...thats why I'm having be its own section.

The website was originally started Febuary 1st, 2006. I don't know when the story was started (it can be assumed January). I lost the original file and now I don't know what the original date was. That makes me sad to not know when I became a writer but the website says Feb 1st, 06; so I can assume it was when I was 15. Unless further evidence shines through, Feb 1st is my first adventure as a writer.

ORIGINAL WEBSITE = wolfscry.50webs.com

May 27th + 28th

May 27th

Today I go on a tourist bus tour. Or rather I did go on one. I also scheduled to meet Akiyo for the last time. At the bus station I waited for the tour bus (of course) and I didn't see any tourists...unless Japanese people go on tourist rides... Then it turns out that there is only 3 total people going on the tour (including me).

On the bus, the tour guide did the standard "Hey tourists, here's how to count in Japanese. And here's a clock tower thats 50 years old. And here's blah blah blah." But I did get some cool pictures of the Emperor's 450 year old castle thingy. Which, by the way, the tour guide wouldn't stop mentioning the watchtowers and how the Japanese are only allowed to see their Emperor (+ Family) only twice a year. Now I have the 75 year old guy's birthday forever etched in my brain. December 23rd...Also the birthday of the clock tower :D

The bus stopped in a park right outside the Emperor's palace. People were just laying down on the low cut grass (like super low cut...like hairy arm short) sleeping. Maybe a blanket laid down with a duffelbag under their heads...just sleeping...I bet most were homeless (I did see at least 1 homeless). I also bought some ice cream and that cliche bandana with a red spot on it. It says "victory" in Japanese. I bought it because my name means "The People's Victory" in some old whatever language.

The tour bus stopped at some Buddhist temple market where I bought me a fan and wandered around a bit. When I went back to the bus at the predestined time (like fate O.o), no one was there. So I waited and eventually my tour guide came and our 2 other members were missing. So we waited for a bit. And waited. And then I saw them and walked over and started talking.

They are a very nice couple from Singapore on their honeymoon. I talked with them a bit and they were very nice. VERY NICE >:o Seriously. I enjoyed their company.

Then I was dropped off at the train station and called Akiyo. Our conversation basically went. "Are you at Hamamatsu?"

"Yes."
"Where?"

"North Entrance."
"Okay."

And then I looked for the North Entrance and could not find it for the life of me. I don't know why but I was pissed. Probably pissed because we couldn't communicate to find a better way to meet. Eventually I told her I was at the bus station and she met me there. Thank jesus god #*&@ cuz I was pissed.

But then I was relieved when I saw her. We basically wandered around not knowing where to go. I tried to explain "Expensive" and "Curse words" but through lack of vocabulary and knowledge, I just couldn't get her to understand. I showed her my headband and she asked me to put it on. I already felt touristy from the tour but puting on this bandana. It's putting the final nail in the tourist sterotype coffin. Thank god I don't put camera's around my neck or have a hat or hawaiian (how do you spell that?) shirt.

So I put it on. I didn't go to Japan to fit in. And if I don't care about what people who know me think about me, why would I care about what a bunch of Japanese (and I mean A BUNCH) think about me? So yeah. Slapped that sucker on.

Quit comparing that white bandana to my teeth, I've been brushin'. And to my credit, the bandana was higher when I was on the train...and I'm not very photogenic...at all...ever?

Anyways. I walked the streets like that. And I rode a train like that. And after almost falling from the train starting to move and acting totally touristy, I had to take it off. It was too much. Way too much. Like your mom shows up at school and says you're wearing dirty underwear too much (which is not a real life example >.>).

After switching trains I was crammed against some guy playing SuDoKu on his cell phone. So after trying to figure it out (the difficulty must have been on EPIC), I saw him put two 2's in a line. I had my headphones on and so did he so I tapped him on the shoulder (wtf am i supposed to do?) and pointed to the two 2's and said "Ni" (Japanese for 2). "Oh thanks." He said in English. Hmmm... So I helped him. I kept speaking the numbers in Japanese and when I said "Kyuu" (9), he asked, "2?".

I've been having trouble choosing which language to use in Japan. When they speak English, do you know it well or are they just trying to make communication easier? So when a Japanese person speaks English. I attempt my speach in Japanese and then restate it in English before finishing with a "WaKaRiMaSu Ka?" (understand?).

Well its a tell (like in Poker) when you speak a language someone should have learned first and they misunderstand and think its in another language. Let me elaborate. Your brain translates automatically. The trick is making it quick and fast. Yukiko translates super fast from Japanese to English. I can read Japanese slowly but eventually the translation will come fast. When you first learn a language, it is translating things you see and hear into words. Eventually you get better at it.

Well if this guy knew Japanese first, he would have known Kyuu. Instead he thought Two. So after a bit (and when the train got less crammed) I told him. "Your english is very good. How long did it take you to learn it?"

"Oh. Well actually I was raised in the Philipines and learned English growing up."

So after a bit of talking, he was still learning Japanese (but was waaaay farther than me). So don't think it was an assumption. It was logical knowing. He had the mannerisms. He spoke without an accent. And in the end, me and him talked and enjoyed our short time together. What are the odds talking to a supposed-Japanese person and he actually knowing English? Slim but not too slim. I've found a few people who knew the basics and that was a breathe of fresh air.

Hearing people speak English relieves the stress of me not knowing Japanese. Knowing people are learning English without being in an English speaking country (or they could have been) is just like how I was learning Japanese outside of Japan. If a Japanese person came to me in America (super slim chance there), I could attempt to speak to them and it would give them the same joy I recieved.

So yeah. Today was great :D

May 28th

Today I sat on the computer all day and hung out with friends. Then rode in the rain on a purple bike to the gas station only to find out I had no yen. Later we went to the Army/Navy/whatever base and I tried to withdraw money. I couldn't >:O well at home I check my credit account and it is official.

I have no more money. I have the 326 yen in my pocket and the 7 dollars in my bank account. But thats fine because Matt owes me $20 (I knew this would happen so I invested some cash).

So thats it. Have fun. I'm mailing cards sometime.

Sleeping in Japan

Japan does not want you to sleep. Not get to sleep, not stay asleep, and definitely not sleep in.

When I first got to Japan, I could not stay up past 10pm to save my life. I'd doze on the couch before finally standing up and stumbling to bed. I'd wake up at 6am naturally and then go back to sleep and wake up a 1/2 later. Rinse and repeat until 8am. Then I'd wake up and eat breakfast. Well now I go to bed at 12am (like I did at home) and wake up at 6:30am then 7:50, then 8:30 and finally 9:20.

Well going to sleep is pretty easy. Not as easy as when I'm home in my bed, but its the best bed from home. I mean in Twin Falls, it doesn't matter where I sleep, its always uncomfortable. Maybe that's because Twin is where the zombies will attack and I'm naturally uneasy about sleeping there.

So sleeping is pretty easy except for the neighborhood police riding around with ice cream music and some lady talking in Japanese through a megaphone. I think it goes something like, "Lock your doors and windows, we're off duty until tomorrow. Have fun braving the night." But my point is that they do this between 10 and 11. So from now on, I'm going to bed at 11.

Staying asleep is sorta easy. Between the scooters roaring down the street in gear 1 and cars honking (Japan is a driver's death trap, remember?), I could wake up, be a little pissed and fall back asleep. But its after 6am that sucks. Marc and his school buddies assemble on the stone stairs right next to my window. They're there for ~10 minutes before the responsible older kid walks them to school. So I fall back asleep. But then some dogs have to start barking, or some old people decide to have a shouting contest, or (if it isn't a school day) the kids won't shut up down stairs.

So today I wanted to sleep in until 9:30. I woke up 3 times, the last being 8:30, and decided "I have nothing really going on. I'll sleep more." Well the neighborhood police paraded through with their "We're back and slightly hung over, so keep it down or we'll taze you." It was just perfectly planned by nature to make me not sleep for an entire hour. I'd lay down and almost be there when some bird decides to scream next to my window, or some car roars down the road, or somebody talks really loud next to the window.

Well Jonah knows what happens when you wake me up, but when it's a force of nature, all I can do is burn down forests and murder. And that's a lot of work for extra sleep, so I'll let nature be for now. I'll just go to bed earily.

In conclusion, burn up in the heat or open a window and not get any sleep. Hell, even if you do close the window, the walls are made of paper mache. Well sleep tight and thank your American ass you have a huge house, wide roads, and quiet neighborhoods built like corn mazes.

May 24th

So I walked into the living room and started watching the News. I knew it was the news because its the only channel that constantly shows what time it is (for those poor people who can afford cable but not a watch). There I saw this girl.

Then Yukiko said, "That one was a boy." And boy was s/he convincing. She did all the mannerisms, had the voice, if Yukiko hadn't had said so, I would never have known.

Thusly I came to the conclusion that Japanese men look like girls and Japanese doctors do surgery better than ours. Cute guy, right? The news had her and some older guy showing a video of them going to Tokyo Disneyland. There she put the older guy in many awkward positions. They drank from a single cup with 2 straws, fed each other icecream, and the whole time the older guy was like "Uhhh...this is kinda weird."

Well her name is Tsubaki Ayana (with Tsubaki being her last name. Here's the before picture.) and she's a model. She's 25 years old and if you think I be lying, go to wikipedia or just type her name in google.

So in conclusion, the Japanese guys make for cute girls.

Yesterday Marc and Marika's grandma and grandpa came over. They only speak Japanese. We had lots of awkward language fun. Today we went to the mall where I bought a 4GB mp3 player for $80. It doubles as a flash drive and recharges 30hours in 30 minutes. The only color they had left was Pink D:


I also ate at one of those restaurants where the food you want is on a moving platform and you snatch it. Every plate = 100yen. Every now and then when you put a plate in the...plate hole...the little screen you can special order food lights up and you might win a prize. With 6 people eating, we won 2 prizes...the same 2 prizes.

Also I asked Yukiko how I looked today and she said. "You dress like a Japanese but you're American. You're Jamerican."

"Is that a bad this?" I asked.

"No. So many Americans don't care about style when it's so easy to do."

So congrats...I'm Jamerican.

BEFORE

AFTER

Holy crap, some pose by accident.

May 23rd

Today I went to Akihabara alone. I wondered around looking for a gamer backpack and found nothing. I bought Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne with collectible action thingy for <2000yen (that's a less than sign) and 5.1 surround sound headphones for 3000yen.

Also on the train ride over, I discovered where my personal-space-bubble goes when super crowded. I was against a wall and a girl, butts touching (no biggy here) when more and more people got into the train. A woman then backed her butt into my crotch. Thats where my personal space bubble goes! Not even my head or face have a bubble, its my crotch! I couldn't move away. All I could do was awkwardly twist my body so her butt was mostly resting on one leg. Don't look at me like that, what you do with a butt against your crotch in a ultra croweded public train?

But back to Akihabara! After wondering around for a while and getting very hungry, I remembered Yukiko saying, "You should go to the Maid Cafe." Well the Popopure (po-po-pu-re) maid cafe has strategically placed maids all over Akihabara so within no time (which its is impossible to be within nothing), I found a maid and asked where the Cafe was.

Well she also spoke English. "I'll show you." She said, smiling. Then two other Japanese fellows came up and she told them to follow her also. Winding into a medium alleyway and then into a smaller one, we went into a narrow hallway where there was a single elevator. Pushing UP and going to Floor 2, the doors opened to show a tidy restaurant filled with maids. There I was introduced to Vivi, a foreigner maid. She spoke English with an accent and showed me to the table.

There were at least 6 gaijin in there with me and the man next to me had an omlette with Japanese written all over it in Ketchup. Hearts and some english made me realize it was a love omlette made by the maids. "Welcome home, master." One maid said handing me a menu and a cup of water. "Our cake today is green tea and our lunch is seaweed white fish. Please call anytime."

"Uh...okay. Thank you." I took in the atmosphere. The man with the love omlette was talking to a made, making her giggle and she talked back. Classical music played lightly as a plasma screen TV showed near nude women. "This place has Brandon written all over it." I thought. Brandon is Aelphais. He's a friend from College who loves classical music and classy behavior. Down at the menu the prices for a meal was 1200 yen, a drink was 600yen, and a cake+drink was 1200yen. "Ooof. Expensive. But how often do you get to eat at a maid cafe?" So I ordered some chocolate cake and a iced cocoa. "Right away, master." The girl replied before running off.

"My god..." I thought. "This is the most awkward restaurant I have ever been in." Shortly my cocoa was brought to me by Vivi. "I'm going to do some magic now." She said. "It will make the drink even more delicious."

"Uhh. Okay." I said, half expecting her to sprinkle crack in my cocoa. But instead she said some words in Japanese, drawing hearts in the air over my drink. Then she formed a heart with her hands and said "Muo, Muo! Now you have to do it with me." Oh snap! Interaction, my worst enemy. "Just make a heart with your hands like this and when I say [something in japanese] you and I will say Muo, Muo! Together, okay?"

I tried to hold on to my nerve, I really did. But the atmosphere, rituals, "master", sorta pornography playing on the TV, and interaction got me. I broke into a wide smile and laughed. "Alright." I said, wondering how these girls could pretend to be maids with a straight face. After the ritual she said. "There, now your drink will be extra delicious because we put all our love in it."

To which I said. "Oh. Thank you." And took a sip while waiting for my cake. Later my cake came. A maid handed me a little fork, a napkin, and a wetwipe (not the kind we have in America. Like a wet napkin in clear plastic). We then did the little ritual again on my cake and I said thanks. I picked up the little fork and slowly ait my cake, trying to be as civilized and sophisticated as possible. Finally I was done and finished my water and cocoa.

"Sumimasen." I called. "I would like to pay now."
"Oh okay. Wait here." Where she brought the traditional little Japanese tray money is put in.
"Is a card alright?"
"Oh no, sorry." D: oh crap. All I had was 1~~ yen and my meal was 1200.

Now this is how this entire thing would be handled in America.

Okay then, we'll go to an ATM. Oh no, my ATM card doesn't work, I can't get any
money. Time to call the police and report this man has stolen from us D:

Well we did just that! Me and Vivi walked to the nearest Family Mart (has an ATM) and I learned she didn't speak a lot of Japanese, only enough for her job. She also is from Germany and has lived here for a little over a month. She wants to stay for a year and thinks being a maid in public is embarrassing.

So at the Family Mart, my card didn't work at the ATM. Instantly it came to me. Maid Quest! Nicholas and Vivi travel across Akihabara battling hobos and crazed nerds in search for an ATM that works! Wow... this could turn into a long adventure perfect for a blog.

At the Family Mart counter I explained that my card didn't work in the ATM and if they could charge it and give me money. A slim glimmer of hope as the cashier went into the back...and came back saying, "No, sorry." Vivi then asked about post offices. And translated to me. "Sorry, they are all closed."

Outside I said what I didn't want to say. "I'm so sorry. I can pay you back at a later day, I could leave my passport for compensation." I could see it in my head, get arrested or ID checked for something stupid and I say in a drunken haze, "But dah maids, dey got mah passport. I gotta get 'em deir monies!"

"Its okay, we'll go back and talk to the lady." Vivi said. Okay its her boss. I thought. After going upstairs and Vivi dissappearing for a bit, an older woman came out to talk. Vivi and I combined our Japanese to explain I had a Japanese relative that she could talk to on the phone. THANK GOD YUKIKO LET ME BORROW HER PHONE!

"Hello?" Yukiko answered.
"Hey, I ate at a resturant and they don't accept my card and I have no money so now the owner wants to talk to you."
"Okay."

And from there, it was in Yukiko's hands. After a bit, I got the phone back and Yukiko said, "You can go back at a later date and pay her back. She's going to give you a flyer with the phone number and the amount you owe." Oh wow. Awesome. After I got the flyer is bowed low. "Domo Arigatou Gozaimashta." I said, thanking her as thankful you could ever be. With that I decided its time to go home.

I crossed the street, walked into a wide alley, turned left and found no train station. "What the? Where could it be?" But then I saw it. Golden rays showered the entrance. I entered inside and saw the holy machine. Slowly I pressed the "English" button and started the process. I slipped in my VISA card and punched in the amount. "Processing..." it blinked at me. Oh sweet Jesus let this work. I thought. "Accepted, please take your money and card." So I did. And I walked back to where I thought the maid cafe was...but it wasn't there.

"WTF, it was somewhere around here." And then I saw a maid! The strategically placed maids. There I asked and was led. I passed the cash to the cashier, paid for my meal and danced off into the right wide alley to the trainstation. From there, I felt awesome. I gave up my sitting place for old people (like I usually do in cramped trains), and even watched the most obese child I've ever seen (and I live in America) count to 30 in Japanese.

I was nodding off when the train stopped. I looked up to see an old woman. I stood up and said "Dozo" (Its okay) while pointing to my seat.
The woman said. "Daijoubu, Daijoubu." (its alright, its alright). So I sat down and she said. "Are you tired?".
"Yes."
"Then you sit and rest."
"Arigatou." I replied.

I was really happy to see how nice people in Japan are. I'm sure this whole situation would have turned out horribly if this was America. And most people who I stand up for (me, a 19 year old gaijin. No one else stands for parents with children or the elderly) take the spot without a word.

I later talked to Yukiko who said that only students and elderly people give up their place for parents. I was happy. Happy to know I was doing the right thing, even if people never said thank you.

May 21st Part 2

So I went on that walk and let me tell you, I was not dressed for those shoes...at all. I usually just wear stuff that are fairly good together but this time it was clash centrial. I was thinking, "Everyone is looking at me. Its these damn shoes." But then I remembered I'm a foreiner and if I wanted to fit in, I wouldn't be in Japan. And I think it turned out only 1 guy looked at my shoes.

In the picture I'm all like "Man do I look dumb."

Today is going to be 82 degrees and I'm dressing in pants and stuff. I wonder how well I'll do...