May 23rd

Today I went to Akihabara alone. I wondered around looking for a gamer backpack and found nothing. I bought Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne with collectible action thingy for <2000yen (that's a less than sign) and 5.1 surround sound headphones for 3000yen.

Also on the train ride over, I discovered where my personal-space-bubble goes when super crowded. I was against a wall and a girl, butts touching (no biggy here) when more and more people got into the train. A woman then backed her butt into my crotch. Thats where my personal space bubble goes! Not even my head or face have a bubble, its my crotch! I couldn't move away. All I could do was awkwardly twist my body so her butt was mostly resting on one leg. Don't look at me like that, what you do with a butt against your crotch in a ultra croweded public train?

But back to Akihabara! After wondering around for a while and getting very hungry, I remembered Yukiko saying, "You should go to the Maid Cafe." Well the Popopure (po-po-pu-re) maid cafe has strategically placed maids all over Akihabara so within no time (which its is impossible to be within nothing), I found a maid and asked where the Cafe was.

Well she also spoke English. "I'll show you." She said, smiling. Then two other Japanese fellows came up and she told them to follow her also. Winding into a medium alleyway and then into a smaller one, we went into a narrow hallway where there was a single elevator. Pushing UP and going to Floor 2, the doors opened to show a tidy restaurant filled with maids. There I was introduced to Vivi, a foreigner maid. She spoke English with an accent and showed me to the table.

There were at least 6 gaijin in there with me and the man next to me had an omlette with Japanese written all over it in Ketchup. Hearts and some english made me realize it was a love omlette made by the maids. "Welcome home, master." One maid said handing me a menu and a cup of water. "Our cake today is green tea and our lunch is seaweed white fish. Please call anytime."

"Uh...okay. Thank you." I took in the atmosphere. The man with the love omlette was talking to a made, making her giggle and she talked back. Classical music played lightly as a plasma screen TV showed near nude women. "This place has Brandon written all over it." I thought. Brandon is Aelphais. He's a friend from College who loves classical music and classy behavior. Down at the menu the prices for a meal was 1200 yen, a drink was 600yen, and a cake+drink was 1200yen. "Ooof. Expensive. But how often do you get to eat at a maid cafe?" So I ordered some chocolate cake and a iced cocoa. "Right away, master." The girl replied before running off.

"My god..." I thought. "This is the most awkward restaurant I have ever been in." Shortly my cocoa was brought to me by Vivi. "I'm going to do some magic now." She said. "It will make the drink even more delicious."

"Uhh. Okay." I said, half expecting her to sprinkle crack in my cocoa. But instead she said some words in Japanese, drawing hearts in the air over my drink. Then she formed a heart with her hands and said "Muo, Muo! Now you have to do it with me." Oh snap! Interaction, my worst enemy. "Just make a heart with your hands like this and when I say [something in japanese] you and I will say Muo, Muo! Together, okay?"

I tried to hold on to my nerve, I really did. But the atmosphere, rituals, "master", sorta pornography playing on the TV, and interaction got me. I broke into a wide smile and laughed. "Alright." I said, wondering how these girls could pretend to be maids with a straight face. After the ritual she said. "There, now your drink will be extra delicious because we put all our love in it."

To which I said. "Oh. Thank you." And took a sip while waiting for my cake. Later my cake came. A maid handed me a little fork, a napkin, and a wetwipe (not the kind we have in America. Like a wet napkin in clear plastic). We then did the little ritual again on my cake and I said thanks. I picked up the little fork and slowly ait my cake, trying to be as civilized and sophisticated as possible. Finally I was done and finished my water and cocoa.

"Sumimasen." I called. "I would like to pay now."
"Oh okay. Wait here." Where she brought the traditional little Japanese tray money is put in.
"Is a card alright?"
"Oh no, sorry." D: oh crap. All I had was 1~~ yen and my meal was 1200.

Now this is how this entire thing would be handled in America.

Okay then, we'll go to an ATM. Oh no, my ATM card doesn't work, I can't get any
money. Time to call the police and report this man has stolen from us D:

Well we did just that! Me and Vivi walked to the nearest Family Mart (has an ATM) and I learned she didn't speak a lot of Japanese, only enough for her job. She also is from Germany and has lived here for a little over a month. She wants to stay for a year and thinks being a maid in public is embarrassing.

So at the Family Mart, my card didn't work at the ATM. Instantly it came to me. Maid Quest! Nicholas and Vivi travel across Akihabara battling hobos and crazed nerds in search for an ATM that works! Wow... this could turn into a long adventure perfect for a blog.

At the Family Mart counter I explained that my card didn't work in the ATM and if they could charge it and give me money. A slim glimmer of hope as the cashier went into the back...and came back saying, "No, sorry." Vivi then asked about post offices. And translated to me. "Sorry, they are all closed."

Outside I said what I didn't want to say. "I'm so sorry. I can pay you back at a later day, I could leave my passport for compensation." I could see it in my head, get arrested or ID checked for something stupid and I say in a drunken haze, "But dah maids, dey got mah passport. I gotta get 'em deir monies!"

"Its okay, we'll go back and talk to the lady." Vivi said. Okay its her boss. I thought. After going upstairs and Vivi dissappearing for a bit, an older woman came out to talk. Vivi and I combined our Japanese to explain I had a Japanese relative that she could talk to on the phone. THANK GOD YUKIKO LET ME BORROW HER PHONE!

"Hello?" Yukiko answered.
"Hey, I ate at a resturant and they don't accept my card and I have no money so now the owner wants to talk to you."
"Okay."

And from there, it was in Yukiko's hands. After a bit, I got the phone back and Yukiko said, "You can go back at a later date and pay her back. She's going to give you a flyer with the phone number and the amount you owe." Oh wow. Awesome. After I got the flyer is bowed low. "Domo Arigatou Gozaimashta." I said, thanking her as thankful you could ever be. With that I decided its time to go home.

I crossed the street, walked into a wide alley, turned left and found no train station. "What the? Where could it be?" But then I saw it. Golden rays showered the entrance. I entered inside and saw the holy machine. Slowly I pressed the "English" button and started the process. I slipped in my VISA card and punched in the amount. "Processing..." it blinked at me. Oh sweet Jesus let this work. I thought. "Accepted, please take your money and card." So I did. And I walked back to where I thought the maid cafe was...but it wasn't there.

"WTF, it was somewhere around here." And then I saw a maid! The strategically placed maids. There I asked and was led. I passed the cash to the cashier, paid for my meal and danced off into the right wide alley to the trainstation. From there, I felt awesome. I gave up my sitting place for old people (like I usually do in cramped trains), and even watched the most obese child I've ever seen (and I live in America) count to 30 in Japanese.

I was nodding off when the train stopped. I looked up to see an old woman. I stood up and said "Dozo" (Its okay) while pointing to my seat.
The woman said. "Daijoubu, Daijoubu." (its alright, its alright). So I sat down and she said. "Are you tired?".
"Yes."
"Then you sit and rest."
"Arigatou." I replied.

I was really happy to see how nice people in Japan are. I'm sure this whole situation would have turned out horribly if this was America. And most people who I stand up for (me, a 19 year old gaijin. No one else stands for parents with children or the elderly) take the spot without a word.

I later talked to Yukiko who said that only students and elderly people give up their place for parents. I was happy. Happy to know I was doing the right thing, even if people never said thank you.

May 21st Part 2

So I went on that walk and let me tell you, I was not dressed for those shoes...at all. I usually just wear stuff that are fairly good together but this time it was clash centrial. I was thinking, "Everyone is looking at me. Its these damn shoes." But then I remembered I'm a foreiner and if I wanted to fit in, I wouldn't be in Japan. And I think it turned out only 1 guy looked at my shoes.

In the picture I'm all like "Man do I look dumb."

Today is going to be 82 degrees and I'm dressing in pants and stuff. I wonder how well I'll do...

May 21st

Today I bought these crazy Japanese shoes. http://www.asbeeonlineshop.jp/fs/asbee/a5aba5b8a53/2255012213000

I needed new shoes anyways, might as well have 'em be Japanese. Going to look for a backpack and some more shirts in Akihabara tomorrow. Akiyo is spending the weekend with her friend so I'm going alone...so alone... Hahaha.

I got a part-time-volunteer-not-paying-me-anything job writing for a website called Killing-Floor.Co.Uk. Its a video game website so don't expect anything real career changing. Though I'd like to get a job as a writer in the States.

Just a quick update on my japanese styles. I miss my family and laid back lifestyle at home. Now excuse me, I have to take a walk, all this sitting on my ass is giving me a cramp.

Side Notes and Thoughts

Oranges
I love orange soda in the USA. Ask my parents. Everytime we go the the pizza buffet, I always get orange fanta. So one day I bought myself two hotdogs and an orange fanta, brought them home, and I took a good hearty sip from the fanta. Hmmm...This doesn't have the kick American Fanta has... I thought. So I decided not to drink Japanese Fanta anymore because it tasted like waterdowned regular orange fanta.

Later, when I went to school, I ate some weirdo orange/grapefruit and told Yukiko. "That's a Japanese orange." She said. So there you have it. Japanese oranges taste like oranges crossbred with grapefruits. And thats why I don't like Japanese orange Fanta. But grape is fine.

Soda
While on the topic of soda, Japan doesn't have rootbeer...like ever. Coke can also mean Pepsi or Coke. And there is no Diet Coke. There is only Coke Zero. But Japan does have tasty Melon soda and wonderful Grape soda (tastes like American grape soda). I even had a Melon Float (like a rootbeer float).

Corey and I were perusing (oh ho ho, big words here) a "recycle shop" (aka antique/junk shop) and found Casey's family an awesome wall scroll and some mythical rootbeer. Its only 40yen a can (so...41cents) so we bought two and were like "SCORE!" because Americans love their rootbeer. Later that day we had rootbeer floats and traded manly stories while watching football after killing a bison with only a butterknife.

Team Fortress 2 (non gamers, skip this)
So there have been some massive updates to TF2 and I was like "I dont really even play TF2 but I gotta get in on this!" so I downloaded the 6gig game in a 1/2hour and turned the graphics to vector. Turns out even in vector graphics (thats a joke), TF2 is unplayable on this laptop. Sooooo...so sad, too bad, life goes on. I'll live without playing a game I've never gotten into.

The Listener
LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT! Fox climbed up to the #1 TV station in Japan. So now they are rewarding Japan with a new American show premier (as in its English but dubbed over in Japanese, but I can turn it to English so hahaha) "The Listener". This show is great. I loved it. I've been watching "House" and "Joey" and (god forbid) "American Idol" (turns out the Japanese can vote) and never felt suspense. But this show is different...somehow. For one thing, I like the main character (for different reasons than I like House) even if Tobi Logan is bad at making believable lies. I could come up with some better ones.

"How'd you know about the fire?"
"I smelled it."
"From 3 blocks?"
"Yes."

This is actual dialog. I would have said, "Turns out your friend is really the arsonist (spoiler) and spilled his guts to me before jumping off a building."

You see, Tobi can read minds. He can't remember his past but aparently his mother had the power and went insane by the voices. Tobi is worried this will happen to him but with special training from some doctor (the only guy who knows his secret), he manages okay.

This is World of Darkness gold! Supernatural powers mix with raw human nature and police breathe down Tobi's neck left and right. He busts into houses using a skeleton key and has a buddy who can hack computers. A main/side character knows a pawnshop dude who knows a guy who sells illegal firearms. Its pure WoD and I love it. I can imagine campaigns like this going on and what rolls the characters make and if the actions are realistic or not.

The Listener will come to America...after Japan...but you better watch it >:O
HOLY CRAP, I'm missing Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire! ;-;

Infomercials
So I flip on the TV at a perfectly reasonable time and a commercial is on. Suddenly I realize 10 minutes have passed and its still the same commercial. You've just walked into The Twilight Zone. Who puts infomercials on at 3pm? And how long do they last? I'm a patient guy. It usually goes "Hmmm this is taking a while" around 5-10 minutes then "Holy crap this is long" where I choose to bail or keep going for another 10 minutes. Repeat repeat repeat until I bail. I can wait hours for stupid stuff. I'm a computer dude, I wait hours on stupid stuff regularly. Not only that, but I wait hours on stupid stuff I could have avoided easily but chose to mess with knowing I'd wait hours.

The point is, I'm tired of seeing American commercials with horrible Japanese dubs in the middle of my unknown anime shows I cant understand.

May 20th

Today I went to school...

I met Mr. Foodie (sorry for butchering that D:) and went to his first class at 9:50. The whole room burst into "UUUUUOOOOOO!" And then the two teachers told the kids to shut up and get ready to work. I stood in the back of the class and listened to it.

The kids were good with pronounciating and understood perfect present tense very well. I was then given a piece of paper, like everyone else, and had to write down 2 things in perfect present tense. Then the class was told to give the papers back and have another handed to them, this one a different student wrote. We then had to shuffle around and ask, in English, questions and figure out who the person was. Mine was really easy.

I have been in Japan for 20 days.
I have been playing video games for 13 years.

I sat down next to a student (cuz I was tired of standing in the back) and all eyes were on me. "Yo." I said. I said it just like I say it to everyone, American or otherwise. Everyone burst out laughing, not laughing that I said the wrong thing but laughing that I had spoken at all. After my face was done being red, we continued the lesson.

Next class period! Here, right when I walked into the classroom, some kid stands up. "WHO ARE YOU WHO ARE YOU WHO ARE YOU!!!???" He yells while pointing. After settling down, the teacher made him direct all questions in English directly to me. "Hello, I'm Nicholas. Ni-Ko-Ra-Su. I am 19 years old. Jyuu Kyuu sai. And want to be a eigo-sensei someday." Everyone gasped at the same time. "Eeeeeehhhhhh?" And then class started.

This time there were to practice reading a thingy to the teachers and the teachers would give them a grade. Mr. Foodie then made me a teacher saying "-to me, Fujii, or Nicholas." After telling kids how to pronounce things right, class ended and I asked Hyper Active Loud Kid to give me his autograph. He spoke English very well and seemed to be the top student. I said "Ganbatte." And he replied. "Ganbarro." Which makes me think that "Te" is for girls and "Ro" is for guys. Like YaMeRo for guys and YaMeTe for girls.

Did the same activity with a different, more quiet class (who still said "UUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO!" when I walked into the room) and then ate a bit of lunch until Kanaguchi-sensei asked if wanted to eat food with the students. "Sure." and we were off!

The students were all like "Nikoras! Nikoras! Sit next to us." So after a table was prepared, I sat down with some kids. It was silent except for the Japanese music playing over the intercom when some kid asked if I went to school to learn Japanese. With the help of Kanaguchi-sensei, I said "No. I study it on my own."

"Why learn Japanese?"
"Because its cool."
"Why is it cool?" And some kid in the background kept saying "Samurai!"
"Samurai, Ninja, Anime, Manga, Sugoi!" I replied.
"Ooooo." and they laughed and repeated what I said.
"Boku wa gey-mah (gamer)."
"Oh, what games do American kids play?"
"Halo, Xbox360." But none of the kids knew what I was talking about. "But those are bad games."
"Well what games do you like?"
"Shin Megami Tensei, Persona, Monster Hunter." and then a kid was like "Oh! I have Persona!" and everyone was happy they connected to the gaijin.

Afterwards, I learned how to sort my trash and before I could escape, a girl put her notebook down and said "Sign please." So I did...and more notebooks came...and I spent 20 minutes writing my autograph to a bunch of Japanese kids. One of them called me out to the hall and led me into another class where I signed more things and that Persona kid gave me a Persona folder thingy.

Then a kid asked for hair...So I ran my fingers through my hair and got some loose hairs for him. Who am I to deny the Japanese their American hair? Then Yukiko came and rescued me. I said thank you to everyone and sayounara! Then some more kids blindsided us with questions.

Most of it was in Japanese and Yukiko answered most of the questions.

"Are you his translator?" No his aunt.
"Your 19 right?" Yeah.
"Where are you from?" Idaho, America. (America = USA in Japan. I don't make the rules.) Idaho grows potatoes.
"You like shellfish?" They're okay.
"You scared of Swine Flu?" No, I think its stupid.
"You have a girlfriend?" No.
"Have you ever met Michael Jackson?" Nope.
"What Anime do you like?" Claymore. (which they didn't know about. Damn Japanese and them not knowing their own Japan only shows.)
"You look like Johnny Depp." Thank you?
And then we escaped! and here I am.

May 19th

Yesterday I was sick so I just watched TV. Today I feel better but am still sick. The light in the bathroom was burnt out and then the switch didn't work so I peed in the dark for 3 days before I accidentily pushed the light switch under the normal one...and the light turned on.

Today I was woken up by Marc and Marika at 6am. I yelled for them to stop but they didn't so I got out of bed, with one eye sort of open, and smacked the first kid I saw and almost threw them down the stairs. They laughed and went downstairs. Jonah knows the wraith of waking me up...Jonah knows...

So next time I'm just going to grab their ears and twist really hard.

So I then officially woke up at 8:15 and got dressed. I got into a strange car with Yukiko and had some stranger woman drive me to a vague location known as "school". There I spoke with Takeda-Sensei and scheduled me to watch him teach English to Japanese students (didn't I mention I wanted to teach English in Japan?) on May 29th. I then fell asleep in the car, got home, got in bed, and slept for another hour. I woke up to Yukiko telling me its time to go to another "school". There I listened to Yukiko and Rei's mother (as I now know. Rei is one of Marc's friends) talk to the principal before introducing me to a French English teacher. That is, he's French and teaches English to Japanese students. Yukiko said his Japanese is very impressive and says he will have no trouble understanding Japanese conversations. The principal only spoke Japanese and the teacher and speak it well enough to get hired so he must be good. I scheduled to go there tomorrow and sit in on 3 classes from 9:40-12 something.

So at schools, visitors take off their shoes and don little slippers that don't fit Americans. I shuffle-walked everywhere and it was really awkward. On top of that, Yukiko and Rei's mom kept bowing and saying "Hai, Hai. Arigatou Gozaimasu." So I would awkwardly bow and mumble "Arigatou Gozaimasu." It was strange.

So I'm done typing today, just didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

May 16th

So the last few days I did nothing but ride a bike to a grocery store and talk in fractured english to Akiyo.

Yesterday I played Killing Floor and enjoyed it. Its Left 4 Dead but cheaper and with leveling. Also I went to a military base and saw that military dudes get discounts and leeway at airports and buying stuff at stores.

Today I met Akiyo in Shinjuku. But before that I went too far on the wrong train and had to train hop around until I got there. We were supposed to meet at 11:00 but I didn't get there until 11:40. I called her on a payphone with 10yen and said, "I got on the wrong train but now I am in Shinjuku." She said "Shinjuku?" and then the payphone hung up. "Oh snap." Then I wandered around (and luck blessed me) and found our meeting place. I walked up and down and all around for a 1/2 before spotting her. Then I asked where a toy store was for Andrew and she didn't know so we walked around for 2 hours.

There was this narrow alley place that looked like it was a toy store but really it was a bunch of nude bars.

Then I walked into an extremely narrow store only to find out its a clothes store with half of it being lawn-ger-ay (its a french word and I have no spell check). The other half was hats and ties. I walked to the stairs and she read a sign. She said something in Japanese before turning me around and walking me out. Now that I think about it, I only saw old, sweaty men walk up and down those stairs.

Wandering around more...

Ate at a ramen shop and it was cool. I wanted to take pictures but I don't know if thats accepted. It was a really small shop too and everyone wore bandannas (the workers). One guy had Wakka's haircut (from Final Fantasy X). Ramen was good but a little to salty.

Walked some more and found no toy stores at all. I said thanks and after some more awkward "She doesn't know what I'm saying" she led me back to the train station and asked if I was good to go on my own. I said, "Yes." and "Thank you." And off I went!

Awesomely enough I got home on all the right trains. Then I couldn't find a payphone to call Yukiko so I just walked home. The front door was locked so I walked around and tested all the rest of em before finding an ulocked sliding door. I let myself in and here I am typing. But I'm going to save this as a draft and post it after tonight.

...later!

Turns out nothing happened...