Happyness go! Playing an assload of Shin Megami Tensei games and brushing up on my Japanese. Borrowing the Shogun DVDs from Uncle Kristian and got 1/2 through disc 3 before I forgot them at Casey's. No worries, going there next weekend.
So I went to the library and got the Shogun book and am reading that. Also am now driving my Dad's car and being a lot safer. Seriously, I standby my statement, "Only retards need insurance." Because in all honesty, only retards do stupid shit and get into trouble. So my punishment is waking up at 7am every day and driving a car with no stereo.
It's like space...the emptyness that flows through. I have no fan in my room so its quiet as sin, so I'm getting a double dosage of no noise. Good news is that I'm practicing my singing and think I'm getting better (though Casey doesn't like it...but he listens to Nickleback).
Found a scanner to use for Japan club. Hopefully we can get this stuff into action and start get these lazy good for nothings to start taking initiative in learning another language. Though to be fair, everyone seems interested, just lazy...which who can blame them? They are like me...lazy as freaking hell.
In other news, Spring Break was not relaxing...like...almost at all. I sacraficed my time for working and chores. Sure I got some time but not enough to feel like a break...more like...a break from school. Same work load, different setting.
Also IM'ed Brandon and sometimes I have bursts of creativity. I find it best to use it quick before it fades. So here it is.
"its easy to pretend..to thin you can make the right decision when the time comes...so easy to think you'll be logical in chaos...
you laugh at others mistakes...horror movies...books...pretty much everything...but unless you've ever been there, how can you know?
Oh I do know, after Lilianne got thrown against the wall, I was quite irrational, even holding a gun against Casey.
Every person on Earth both past and present have thought themselves able to withstand at least one of event
how many do you think manage?
how many just freeze up? How many act irrationally? how many succeed at acting right but still fail...shooting a person is far different than shooting a dummy...and fighting a rapist is far harder than an instructor..."
I guess this is mostly based on when I had to call 911 on a friend. He fell off the counter (18 years old then) backwards and landed hard. I laughed to ease the tension I knew would come. He moaned and I looked down. His eyes were rolled back into his head, pure white, and the moan was an inhaled moan.
I must have yelled something along the lines of "Holy Shit!" because his parents sprung into action. In my head, I thought "Its a seizure! I gotta make sure he's breathing, has a heartbeat, hasn't swallowed or bitten his tongue." But then his mother ran in and held him.
I stepped passed them and found his father standing naked yelling, "What? What? What?". I pushed past him and grabbed the phone and dialed 911.
I rushed back to where my friend fell and turned off the phone when I saw he regained conciousness. It wasn't a seizure, it was a blackout. 911 called back and I said it was fine and they tried to connect me to emergency services and I explained what happened and it was left at that.
This was the only time I've ever been in a life or death situation (at least it could have been) and I think I acted just how I wanted to. I ran these things through my head over and over and mentally prepared myself...and I think I did good.
I cried a lot that night. All I thought about was losing a friend and how to save him and when he was safe, the emotions flooded over me. I hugged him and said how horrible it would have been to have your best friend die in front of you and his family.
Heh...seems like I end in downers a lot. But its not ment to sound sad or sappy (unlike that last post), its ment to show many things. That life is very important, emergencies can come from the stupidest of things, and none of this really has to do with Japan.
Sorry its so long. Adding a new "song feature" thingy. In psychology, a correlation between smiling and actual mood was found, so smile more. The more you go out into the world with a smile and a happier attitude, the better eveything will be. Thats why I always laugh at horrible things. So cheer up! Things could be worse, and if they are, they can only get better!
Inner Glow by Blue October
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onSKMRjjYRU
arg could only find a shitty live version, sorry :P
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Marh 25th, 6:30pm; 9:30am
Well my car is screwed. Dad says that its not worth piling money into a car that isn't worth it. I agree but I can't help but feel like some force builds me up and creates all this goodness and then stands back and shoots at me. Sometimes I can see the shots taken at me and how I dodged them but other times its a slow bleed. I know I've been dealt a wound but don't know how bad it is until later.
So here I stand on the brink. To my left is failure; a cliff of lost dreams, mementos, destroyed machinery, and corpses. If I fall left, I won't go to Japan, my parents will charge me for everything, and I'll be forced to endure their low blows until I somehow make enough money to pay them off and get a vehicle. To my right is a brighter future. But it is covered in rain and pitfalls. If I fall right, I will go to Japan, get into debt, and hopefully become successful. Debt will be large. I will put my entire education and travel expenses into it. I will dodged their lashing tails and traps. But once I get past the rain, the future awaits. The bright future is farther now than ever.
Before now it was right there, a tangible dream. I could walk into it with no turbulence. I now know those bullets that were meant for me are now hitting those I care about. My parents are going down into a dark era of uncertainty for me. Now that I have fallen down with them, I can feel the pressure. Like a mist growing deeper and deeper, the pressure builds. They've been helping me to keep the mist off but its too late now.
So now I stand as a boy clothed as a man. One month before 19 years old, I destroy my car in the simplest of stupid mistakes.
- - -
Well I just came back from eating and don't feel sad anymore. So yeah. Gonna have to start biking or something stupid. I'll look for a public transportation thing. Maybe I'll have to buy a new tire for my bike. Whatever. For now its spring break and I'm going to have fun.
Free car didn't even last 2 years in my hands. I'm sorry grandma. I know you expected more from me and I screwed up. I'm sorry for breaking Lil' Red.
So here I stand on the brink. To my left is failure; a cliff of lost dreams, mementos, destroyed machinery, and corpses. If I fall left, I won't go to Japan, my parents will charge me for everything, and I'll be forced to endure their low blows until I somehow make enough money to pay them off and get a vehicle. To my right is a brighter future. But it is covered in rain and pitfalls. If I fall right, I will go to Japan, get into debt, and hopefully become successful. Debt will be large. I will put my entire education and travel expenses into it. I will dodged their lashing tails and traps. But once I get past the rain, the future awaits. The bright future is farther now than ever.
Before now it was right there, a tangible dream. I could walk into it with no turbulence. I now know those bullets that were meant for me are now hitting those I care about. My parents are going down into a dark era of uncertainty for me. Now that I have fallen down with them, I can feel the pressure. Like a mist growing deeper and deeper, the pressure builds. They've been helping me to keep the mist off but its too late now.
So now I stand as a boy clothed as a man. One month before 19 years old, I destroy my car in the simplest of stupid mistakes.
- - -
Well I just came back from eating and don't feel sad anymore. So yeah. Gonna have to start biking or something stupid. I'll look for a public transportation thing. Maybe I'll have to buy a new tire for my bike. Whatever. For now its spring break and I'm going to have fun.
Free car didn't even last 2 years in my hands. I'm sorry grandma. I know you expected more from me and I screwed up. I'm sorry for breaking Lil' Red.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
March 22nd 3:26pm; 6:26am
Got home from Casey's today.
Thursday = Had Japan Club again! Kudos to Alex for bringing...Andrew? Forgot my books so we did review then covered Kore, Sore, Are, Dare, Doko, and Nani/Nan.
Friday = Cleaned from 12-3:30 befor going home and eating. Then went and had a private lesson from Jerry-Sensei at his Nipponjutsu dojo. He taught me some basic rolls and stretches. Finally went to Casey's to work.
Saturday = Caulked the front side of Casey's house and then went to Burger King. On the way home, I took a turn to quickly and, in the rain, slid into a curb. My tire popped and I drove it the quarter mile back to Casey's. After a quick trip to Big O Tires, we found that I bent my axel or something. I was fine with a new tire but I cried after finding out I broke my axel.
I cried because I basically threw away my Japan spending money. I was a dumbass and took things too fast and now I'm paying for it. But all my Real Life (RL) friends aren't too worried and Casey pointed out that at least I learned my lesson without anything serious happening. I thought hard about it. Its true...no one got hurt...no other cars were involved...Better now than later.
Called my parents and they didn't get super pissed or anything. That made me feel better. Nothing's worse than being chewed out for something you already acknowledge and regret.
Sunday = Got home around 2 thanks to my parents. Now I'm just sitting here worrying about tomorrow. I'm pretty resilient, I'll bounce back.
Tomorrow I will call up the insurance company and be able to go to Jerry-Sensei's class Tuesday. But I think that's wishful thinking. I'd at least be able to go Satuday. All things said...What a fucking great way to start spring break!
Thursday = Had Japan Club again! Kudos to Alex for bringing...Andrew? Forgot my books so we did review then covered Kore, Sore, Are, Dare, Doko, and Nani/Nan.
Friday = Cleaned from 12-3:30 befor going home and eating. Then went and had a private lesson from Jerry-Sensei at his Nipponjutsu dojo. He taught me some basic rolls and stretches. Finally went to Casey's to work.
Saturday = Caulked the front side of Casey's house and then went to Burger King. On the way home, I took a turn to quickly and, in the rain, slid into a curb. My tire popped and I drove it the quarter mile back to Casey's. After a quick trip to Big O Tires, we found that I bent my axel or something. I was fine with a new tire but I cried after finding out I broke my axel.
I cried because I basically threw away my Japan spending money. I was a dumbass and took things too fast and now I'm paying for it. But all my Real Life (RL) friends aren't too worried and Casey pointed out that at least I learned my lesson without anything serious happening. I thought hard about it. Its true...no one got hurt...no other cars were involved...Better now than later.
Called my parents and they didn't get super pissed or anything. That made me feel better. Nothing's worse than being chewed out for something you already acknowledge and regret.
Sunday = Got home around 2 thanks to my parents. Now I'm just sitting here worrying about tomorrow. I'm pretty resilient, I'll bounce back.
Tomorrow I will call up the insurance company and be able to go to Jerry-Sensei's class Tuesday. But I think that's wishful thinking. I'd at least be able to go Satuday. All things said...What a fucking great way to start spring break!
Monday, March 16, 2009
March 12th 3:30pm; 6:30am
Had first ever unofficial Japan club. It was very stupid but in a good way. We covered Hiragana and how I memorized them (aka I don't know how I did at all and just made up stupid things). I was open and honest and shared a lot of what I knew.
We also covered Ka, Ne, and Yo. So that was cool. Only two people showed up so I was happy. I thought only one would so high fives for that turning out okay.
For anyone reading this, its Thursdays 3:30 to 4:40 as of now. It might change later but whatever.
We also covered Ka, Ne, and Yo. So that was cool. Only two people showed up so I was happy. I thought only one would so high fives for that turning out okay.
For anyone reading this, its Thursdays 3:30 to 4:40 as of now. It might change later but whatever.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
March 9th, 2009 11:01am; 2:01am
Had a dream where the United States and Russia united together and for some reason outlawed Japanese immigrants. We let the immigrants stay at our house but the field next to our house was a neighborhood and a house was next to ours.
I remember standing in public and a Japanese girl turned to me and said, "Your my boyfriend." I held hands with her before kissing her. After I got home, it was night, I sat in my car and listened to the radio. Then the neighbor's teen came over and asked if I was holding Soviet Consent, something I didn't know about. Maybe he said contempt.
He looked like an angsty Stephen (annoying lawyer kid from CWI). I quickly replied yes, not knowing the meaning of my words. A couple days later I came home to find all our Japanese friends being hauled into vans and an official looking guy giving snobby neighbor kid a handshake and showing him a new car. The kid laughs and I shake with rage.
I chase after his car when he drives away. I run for a solid mile until he stops at a light. I jump and manage to grab onto the car. I climb to the sun roof as he speeds. I tap on the glass and he opens it to find me.
I curse at him and he mocks me before I jump through the roof into the passenger seat.
He pulls a gun and says "Don't move!" I freeze. "Can I put on my seatbelt?" He nods and as I click the belt, I can't help but think about what would happen if I keep moving really quickly; would he shoot?
I get arrested. I think the only reason he didn't shoot me was to not stain his new car.
In jail I meet a character I think to be anonomous because I don't remember much besides he gives me a way out. Together we escape into the zombie/demon infested jail/hospital. We encounter a locked laser wall and I crawl into the vents to find a way to unlock it.
As I enter a locked room via vent, a creature trieds to gore me. I get the laser fence off and somehow bypass the beast.
Further, we encounter a room with metal shutters that open and close. The walls have solid metal shutters. I can't help but think of Doom.
As we cross, monsters appear, we try to time the shutters so they clamp and kill the monsters without catching us. After we kill them the wall shutters clatter open. There a parasec to Abe's Oddysy tries to kill us. We escape to the exit which requires two switches.
Theres the exit straight ahead and a hallway on the left and another on the right. We split up, me going right. I enter a sandstone room with sand on the floor and a pharoh's casket placed in the wall. The room closes and starts filling with water. I look frantically for the switch and see it far up on the opposite side of the wall. I climb on the pharoh's casket and find handholds before blindly leaping to the switch. I slam it before ricocheting off the sandy wall and plung into the water.
It doesn't drain.
I freak out at my real fear. I swim to the top and rest, mind racing. Finally I dive and move rocks and bricks on the bottom, pressing walls before returning for breathe after breathe. The water reaches the ceiling and I take my last gulp and swim down 10-15 feet and know there is no more air. I cry underwater as red whisps play on my vision and fire burns my lungs. I've searched everything except the casket.
I brace myself and pull it out and I feel the suction. I hold there until the weight of air pulls me down, wet, onto the sloppy sand. Breathing hard, I exit.
Back in the main hall, I see no trace of my allie and no opening on the exit. I rush to his room and open the door to find him trying to climb.
The hand holds are sparce and holes cover the walls, shooting burning steam at you while you try to climb. After watching him get burned, I tried.
There was no avoid the steam. I sucked it up and pulled up and leap to try and hit the switch. Steam pours over me as I lunge. A final throw and I hit switch.
We exit and it's time to right the wrongs done to me.
Too bad I woke up.
It took a couple hours to remember all this and many details are blank. It would make a good short story. Like the Red Soldier one I haven't started.
I decided after posting this, not the type word for word what I've written in the journal. Cuz...man I suck at writing by hand but good at typing...So...yeah...
I remember standing in public and a Japanese girl turned to me and said, "Your my boyfriend." I held hands with her before kissing her. After I got home, it was night, I sat in my car and listened to the radio. Then the neighbor's teen came over and asked if I was holding Soviet Consent, something I didn't know about. Maybe he said contempt.
He looked like an angsty Stephen (annoying lawyer kid from CWI). I quickly replied yes, not knowing the meaning of my words. A couple days later I came home to find all our Japanese friends being hauled into vans and an official looking guy giving snobby neighbor kid a handshake and showing him a new car. The kid laughs and I shake with rage.
I chase after his car when he drives away. I run for a solid mile until he stops at a light. I jump and manage to grab onto the car. I climb to the sun roof as he speeds. I tap on the glass and he opens it to find me.
I curse at him and he mocks me before I jump through the roof into the passenger seat.
He pulls a gun and says "Don't move!" I freeze. "Can I put on my seatbelt?" He nods and as I click the belt, I can't help but think about what would happen if I keep moving really quickly; would he shoot?
I get arrested. I think the only reason he didn't shoot me was to not stain his new car.
In jail I meet a character I think to be anonomous because I don't remember much besides he gives me a way out. Together we escape into the zombie/demon infested jail/hospital. We encounter a locked laser wall and I crawl into the vents to find a way to unlock it.
As I enter a locked room via vent, a creature trieds to gore me. I get the laser fence off and somehow bypass the beast.
Further, we encounter a room with metal shutters that open and close. The walls have solid metal shutters. I can't help but think of Doom.
As we cross, monsters appear, we try to time the shutters so they clamp and kill the monsters without catching us. After we kill them the wall shutters clatter open. There a parasec to Abe's Oddysy tries to kill us. We escape to the exit which requires two switches.
Theres the exit straight ahead and a hallway on the left and another on the right. We split up, me going right. I enter a sandstone room with sand on the floor and a pharoh's casket placed in the wall. The room closes and starts filling with water. I look frantically for the switch and see it far up on the opposite side of the wall. I climb on the pharoh's casket and find handholds before blindly leaping to the switch. I slam it before ricocheting off the sandy wall and plung into the water.
It doesn't drain.
I freak out at my real fear. I swim to the top and rest, mind racing. Finally I dive and move rocks and bricks on the bottom, pressing walls before returning for breathe after breathe. The water reaches the ceiling and I take my last gulp and swim down 10-15 feet and know there is no more air. I cry underwater as red whisps play on my vision and fire burns my lungs. I've searched everything except the casket.
I brace myself and pull it out and I feel the suction. I hold there until the weight of air pulls me down, wet, onto the sloppy sand. Breathing hard, I exit.
Back in the main hall, I see no trace of my allie and no opening on the exit. I rush to his room and open the door to find him trying to climb.
The hand holds are sparce and holes cover the walls, shooting burning steam at you while you try to climb. After watching him get burned, I tried.
There was no avoid the steam. I sucked it up and pulled up and leap to try and hit the switch. Steam pours over me as I lunge. A final throw and I hit switch.
We exit and it's time to right the wrongs done to me.
Too bad I woke up.
It took a couple hours to remember all this and many details are blank. It would make a good short story. Like the Red Soldier one I haven't started.
I decided after posting this, not the type word for word what I've written in the journal. Cuz...man I suck at writing by hand but good at typing...So...yeah...
March 5th, 2009 11:32pm; 3:32pm
All my posts will be like that top bar thingy. I will say the time it is in Idaho, followed by Japan.
Went to Khayman's to give him Morrowind and he gave me this journal. Thanks Khyaman! Going to Japan to visit Yukiko, Corey, and the kids. On April 30th, 2009, I will fly to San Francisco on a "peddle glider" then spend ~11 hours on a plane before arriving in Japan.
I'm a little freaked. I'll be all alone for an entire day hopping onto planes and being confused as hell. Then I found out school doesn't end til May 14th...ish. So I also have to catch up enough to not throw $1400 away. I'm brushing up on my Japanese and am excited for the trip to come.
Sure hope I don't die until then...
Ticket bought March 3rd for $868.29
Went to Khayman's to give him Morrowind and he gave me this journal. Thanks Khyaman! Going to Japan to visit Yukiko, Corey, and the kids. On April 30th, 2009, I will fly to San Francisco on a "peddle glider" then spend ~11 hours on a plane before arriving in Japan.
I'm a little freaked. I'll be all alone for an entire day hopping onto planes and being confused as hell. Then I found out school doesn't end til May 14th...ish. So I also have to catch up enough to not throw $1400 away. I'm brushing up on my Japanese and am excited for the trip to come.
Sure hope I don't die until then...
Ticket bought March 3rd for $868.29
New Japan Blog
I have a journal I am going to write in but just incase it fill up, I will write everything into this blog as well. This way my friends and family will see my chronicling of my trip complete with pictures and my comments.
This trip costs $868.29 for a roundtrip, from April 30th to June 3rd. Thats 33 days, 2 traveling, 3 probably in jetlag. That is, 3 days in Japan in jetlag. Back in America, I won't care about Jetlag because it will be summer.
I already can recognize all hiragana, some katakana, and little kanji. My goal is in the 2 months I have, I learn enough basic Japanese, so if I get lost, I can get my bearings and get help.
I'll be staying with my American Uncle, Corey; Japanese Aunt, Yukiko; and their two Japanese-American children, Mark and Marika. Corey was commissioned in Japan for 6 years where he got married, then 6 years in America where he started his family, now he's 6 more years in Japan.
Dude...I'm stoked.
This trip costs $868.29 for a roundtrip, from April 30th to June 3rd. Thats 33 days, 2 traveling, 3 probably in jetlag. That is, 3 days in Japan in jetlag. Back in America, I won't care about Jetlag because it will be summer.
I already can recognize all hiragana, some katakana, and little kanji. My goal is in the 2 months I have, I learn enough basic Japanese, so if I get lost, I can get my bearings and get help.
I'll be staying with my American Uncle, Corey; Japanese Aunt, Yukiko; and their two Japanese-American children, Mark and Marika. Corey was commissioned in Japan for 6 years where he got married, then 6 years in America where he started his family, now he's 6 more years in Japan.
Dude...I'm stoked.
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