Also on the train ride over, I discovered where my personal-space-bubble goes when super crowded. I was against a wall and a girl, butts touching (no biggy here) when more and more people got into the train. A woman then backed her butt into my crotch. Thats where my personal space bubble goes! Not even my head or face have a bubble, its my crotch! I couldn't move away. All I could do was awkwardly twist my body so her butt was mostly resting on one leg. Don't look at me like that, what you do with a butt against your crotch in a ultra croweded public train?
But back to Akihabara! After wondering around for a while and getting very hungry, I remembered Yukiko saying, "You should go to the Maid Cafe." Well the Popopure (po-po-pu-re) maid cafe has strategically placed maids all over Akihabara so within no time (which its is impossible to be within nothing), I found a maid and asked where the Cafe was.
Well she also spoke English. "I'll show you." She said, smiling. Then two other Japanese fellows came up and she told them to follow her also. Winding into a medium alleyway and then into a smaller one, we went into a narrow hallway where there was a single elevator. Pushing UP and going to Floor 2, the doors opened to show a tidy restaurant filled with maids. There I was introduced to Vivi, a foreigner maid. She spoke English with an accent and showed me to the table.
There were at least 6 gaijin in there with me and the man next to me had an omlette with Japanese written all over it in Ketchup. Hearts and some english made me realize it was a love omlette made by the maids. "Welcome home, master." One maid said handing me a menu and a cup of water. "Our cake today is green tea and our lunch is seaweed white fish. Please call anytime."
"Uh...okay. Thank you." I took in the atmosphere. The man with the love omlette was talking to a made, making her giggle and she talked back. Classical music played lightly as a plasma screen TV showed near nude women. "This place has Brandon written all over it." I thought. Brandon is Aelphais. He's a friend from College who loves classical music and classy behavior. Down at the menu the prices for a meal was 1200 yen, a drink was 600yen, and a cake+drink was 1200yen. "Ooof. Expensive. But how often do you get to eat at a maid cafe?" So I ordered some chocolate cake and a iced cocoa. "Right away, master." The girl replied before running off.
"My god..." I thought. "This is the most awkward restaurant I have ever been in." Shortly my cocoa was brought to me by Vivi. "I'm going to do some magic now." She said. "It will make the drink even more delicious."
"Uhh. Okay." I said, half expecting her to sprinkle crack in my cocoa. But instead she said some words in Japanese, drawing hearts in the air over my drink. Then she formed a heart with her hands and said "Muo, Muo! Now you have to do it with me." Oh snap! Interaction, my worst enemy. "Just make a heart with your hands like this and when I say [something in japanese] you and I will say Muo, Muo! Together, okay?"
I tried to hold on to my nerve, I really did. But the atmosphere, rituals, "master", sorta pornography playing on the TV, and interaction got me. I broke into a wide smile and laughed. "Alright." I said, wondering how these girls could pretend to be maids with a straight face. After the ritual she said. "There, now your drink will be extra delicious because we put all our love in it."
To which I said. "Oh. Thank you." And took a sip while waiting for my cake. Later my cake came. A maid handed me a little fork, a napkin, and a wetwipe (not the kind we have in America. Like a wet napkin in clear plastic). We then did the little ritual again on my cake and I said thanks. I picked up the little fork and slowly ait my cake, trying to be as civilized and sophisticated as possible. Finally I was done and finished my water and cocoa.
"Sumimasen." I called. "I would like to pay now."
"Oh okay. Wait here." Where she brought the traditional little Japanese tray money is put in.
"Is a card alright?"
"Oh no, sorry." D: oh crap. All I had was 1~~ yen and my meal was 1200.
Now this is how this entire thing would be handled in America.
Okay then, we'll go to an ATM. Oh no, my ATM card doesn't work, I can't get any
money. Time to call the police and report this man has stolen from us D:
Well we did just that! Me and Vivi walked to the nearest Family Mart (has an ATM) and I learned she didn't speak a lot of Japanese, only enough for her job. She also is from Germany and has lived here for a little over a month. She wants to stay for a year and thinks being a maid in public is embarrassing.
So at the Family Mart, my card didn't work at the ATM. Instantly it came to me. Maid Quest! Nicholas and Vivi travel across Akihabara battling hobos and crazed nerds in search for an ATM that works! Wow... this could turn into a long adventure perfect for a blog.
At the Family Mart counter I explained that my card didn't work in the ATM and if they could charge it and give me money. A slim glimmer of hope as the cashier went into the back...and came back saying, "No, sorry." Vivi then asked about post offices. And translated to me. "Sorry, they are all closed."
Outside I said what I didn't want to say. "I'm so sorry. I can pay you back at a later day, I could leave my passport for compensation." I could see it in my head, get arrested or ID checked for something stupid and I say in a drunken haze, "But dah maids, dey got mah passport. I gotta get 'em deir monies!"
"Its okay, we'll go back and talk to the lady." Vivi said. Okay its her boss. I thought. After going upstairs and Vivi dissappearing for a bit, an older woman came out to talk. Vivi and I combined our Japanese to explain I had a Japanese relative that she could talk to on the phone. THANK GOD YUKIKO LET ME BORROW HER PHONE!
"Hello?" Yukiko answered.
"Hey, I ate at a resturant and they don't accept my card and I have no money so now the owner wants to talk to you."
"Okay."
And from there, it was in Yukiko's hands. After a bit, I got the phone back and Yukiko said, "You can go back at a later date and pay her back. She's going to give you a flyer with the phone number and the amount you owe." Oh wow. Awesome. After I got the flyer is bowed low. "Domo Arigatou Gozaimashta." I said, thanking her as thankful you could ever be. With that I decided its time to go home.
I crossed the street, walked into a wide alley, turned left and found no train station. "What the? Where could it be?" But then I saw it. Golden rays showered the entrance. I entered inside and saw the holy machine. Slowly I pressed the "English" button and started the process. I slipped in my VISA card and punched in the amount. "Processing..." it blinked at me. Oh sweet Jesus let this work. I thought. "Accepted, please take your money and card." So I did. And I walked back to where I thought the maid cafe was...but it wasn't there.
"WTF, it was somewhere around here." And then I saw a maid! The strategically placed maids. There I asked and was led. I passed the cash to the cashier, paid for my meal and danced off into the right wide alley to the trainstation. From there, I felt awesome. I gave up my sitting place for old people (like I usually do in cramped trains), and even watched the most obese child I've ever seen (and I live in America) count to 30 in Japanese.
I was nodding off when the train stopped. I looked up to see an old woman. I stood up and said "Dozo" (Its okay) while pointing to my seat.
The woman said. "Daijoubu, Daijoubu." (its alright, its alright). So I sat down and she said. "Are you tired?".
"Yes."
"Then you sit and rest."
"Arigatou." I replied.
I was really happy to see how nice people in Japan are. I'm sure this whole situation would have turned out horribly if this was America. And most people who I stand up for (me, a 19 year old gaijin. No one else stands for parents with children or the elderly) take the spot without a word.
I later talked to Yukiko who said that only students and elderly people give up their place for parents. I was happy. Happy to know I was doing the right thing, even if people never said thank you.
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