May 11th

They say that you never die in your dreams - that you wake up right before death. They saw if you do die in your sleep, you die in real life. I don't think this is true though. I've died in my dreams, a fatal blow by a gun or sword, sometimes I drown. All that happens is everything goes black and then the dream transforms into another dream or my viewpoint slowly lifts out of my body and I see my entire surroundings.

Time moves slowly, very slowly, I can see warriors fighting or bullets spin through the air. Its almost like a snapshot of my death scene.

What's the scariest thought you can think of? Put it in a comment in this post.

I have a few. You are in a house all alone. The lights flicker as thunder rocks the foundation. A light lies under the one of the doorways as you walk the hallway. You step over to the door and peer through the keyhole to find a young woman dressed in pure white, her skin just as pale. She is faced away, sobbing softly. Not wishing to disturb her, you continue on your business. Time passes and you find yourself walking back past the door. Curious you peek through the keyhole again and can only see the purist crimson. Looking all around all you can see is the red. Stepping back you go back to your room and notice a painting of a woman dressed in pure white. Looking closer, past her bangs you see her eyes. They are also pure crimson.

Ooooo spooky ghost story.

So less ghostifying stories are sitting in your car or by a window. It is pouring in the dark night. You put your head against the cool glass and stare into the darkness. Lightning hits and there pushed against the other side of the glass is bloodied face. As the lighting fades, the face's eyes do not.

That is a very possible scenario. I freak people out by just saying "Hello." Mom says I'm really quiet but I think people put too much trust that they are truly alone. Uncle Kris gets a kick out of preying on this feeling. The feeling that you are alone and can take happiness knowing no one cares what you do and when it breaks, you are startled.

What about tears? Why do natural tears (caused by dust or peppers) contain so little salt but emotional tears are super salty. They cause everything to get red and agitated. Is there a reason for this?

Was Jesus a rebel? He lived poor and saw Roman oppression and created his own defiant religion. Even if it was the true religion, it was still rebellion (refusal to accept some authority or code or convention). I'm willing to accept he was white (aren't all Jews?) Please know this is coming from a kid who barely knows anything about Babylon or Christianity.

The English language puts a lot emphasis on abstract subjects. Let me explain it simply. Without explaining, we talk about 'it'. What is 'it'? Why do we keep talking about 'it'? Its obviously some sort of mythical thing that is everything vague and specific at the same time. People say things are confusing when they don't even question their own lives.

While people bicker about Gay marriage and gun rights, people are dying because they have no food. How fat are you? How much food do you throw away? "Oh its old." Who cares?! If you're starving, you'll eat moldy bread and drink drainage water. If people really want to make a difference in the world, give all your worldly possessions to the poor. You have a job, right? Well their job is not dying. So have fun packing boxes, typing, serving food, cleaning houses, answering phones, and servicing machines because its a lot more stable than "Find enough food to feed me and my dying brothers and sisters."

A student gave a speech that Evolution and Creationism (a God created everything) could never co-exist. I raised my hand and said, "But our founding fathers believed in the clockwork god theory where god created the world (like a watch), wound it up, and is watching it. Why couldn't a god create a world with life and watch life change and adapt based on its environment?" He couldn't give me a definite answer. He simply said it was harder to believe mankind came from apes than were simply there. I decided not to draw it out into a full scale debate and let the kid believe what he wanted, its America, right?

But here's something you cannot deny. The universe is getting bigger. Do I need to elaborate on how we know?

Ahem...We can see stars that are millions of light years away. We can see entire solar systems too. When things are going away from us, the light wavelength increases creating red instead of white. So the wavelength is longer than normal because the source is moving away from us. Most of the solar systems, galaxies, and stars are moving away from us. There are a few blue solar systems (going towards us denoted by the shorter wavelength of blue) but not many.

So now that we know the universe is moving away from a point, we can logically decide the universe is larger than it was...which means it was smaller in the past...which means there had to be a source of this movement. The Big Bang theory is that the growing universe (Fact) came from a single point in space (Theory). Its really simple. Things are growing which means they had to be smaller but how small was it? Thats the Big Bang theory and if you don't believe it, why are we moving away from something? Everything seems have came from what we are moving away from. And Evolution and the Big Bang never said there was no God.

People have to detach themselves from reality because it is so horrible. You can't deny it. People who go crazy (when they weren't to start out with) had to detach themselves so much they don't know what is reality and what isn't. Why shouldn't religion be the same? Let me say that this is an idea and not a belief. There should be no reason anyone can't tolerate an idea. I can tolerate all religions (even Scientology) so accept a few ideas.

Religion is a pair of rose colored glasses ment to take the edge off of life. Its hard to think that we die and there is nothing at all in the end. We die and nothing remains of us. Our personality/soul is genetics and expiriences and those die with us. What's after death? Nothing. Just an idea. So think hard about it. Studies show that identical twins are 70% the exact same in personality (even when seperated at birth). This means 70% is genetics and 30% is how they were raised. Twins raised together have a huge possibility they are almost the exact same in every personal quirk.

But does this mean life is meaningless? No, we make the meaning. People who follow Christianity follow rules because there is a promise of every pleasure in a place called Heaven. Thats wrong. Doing something nice because of a goal of ultimate pleasure is wrong. Its the actions without the feeling. I'm not saying all Christians do this. I'm saying if Christians are only doing nice things because of Heaven, they should go to Hell.

Of course there is no such thing as a pure motive. People can't just do things because it is right because there is no such thing as right. Humans created right and wrong, good and evil. Nature has no evil, it is neutral. We call it neutral because unnessary suffering happens because it just does. Nothing caused it besides bad timing, nature, and instinct. Humans do an action always for a reason. I help someone pick up something because I want them to smile and thank me. It makes me feel like I made a difference. I want to feel like I made a difference because I want to feel like it will make me more memorable. It will help me flush out my personality and make people remember me. I want them to remember me because after death, people will talk about me and love me like they did in life. This is a very clean cut, no BS way of putting everything. There is a motive behind every action ever. You want to be known as kind so you do kind things. When someone snatches the item away that you picked up for them, this makes you feel bad. If you were truly a good person, you would be happy knowing you made a life easier. But even this is not a purly 'good' action. You wanted the feeling of happiness knowing you helped a life live easier.

Karma doesn't exist. If the world was truly ruled by equality, children wouldn't die before they lived. They wouldn't be shot and left to bleed to death in the cold of night. This is why heaven is so comforting, it makes it seem like there is a balance. What if there isn't a heaven and people are dying in unequally. This is why people who have the power to stop oppression should. It doesn't matter if the world sorts it out and makes things equal, are you part of the world? If you have a problem, don't expect the problem to be solved on its own, kick it's ass! See a cold child? Give up a coat, don't expect someone else to do it. See a man lying on the ground in pain? Do something to help! Don't assume someone already has. Life doesn't sort itself out, people don't sort themselves out, animals don't sort themselves out. The world is like the longest string of tangled christmas lights. Everyone needs to find their favorite light and work on untangling it.

Yep...so today I learned Hidari is left and Migi is right and Ue is up. I read a book and watched TV before bike riding to Yamada Denki (PSP = 19800, didn't buy) and the Book Off. Had a good time. Emailed Aki today too. Today was pretty uneventful, thats why I wrote a bunch of philosphy IDEAS.

So yeah . . . don't try to fix the world before your own life. Make a difference. Jump out there and donate time to things that matter. How many people value charity? Oh, thats a lot of people! How many actually participate in charity? Oh...well thats not as many. Maybe when the values match the actions, the world will be closer to peace.