April 15th 11:51pm; 2:51pm

Things are alright! Turns out I was taking it harder than Brandon but I was breaking down with all this "2weeks ahead" stuff. It was good to write that stuff.

Told Valkyrie that is was a waste of time training me to do something I could only do for 2 weeks and apologized several times before leaving.

Got home and started working on my Biology Final (which is due Friday >:|).

Parents got home and chewed me out saying that Valkyrie didn't need me and was trying to help me. So then I felt like shit for the rest of the day. I needed today off anyways, I needed time to myself. I had to do two finals this week (with that Biology one still due soon) and a test so that's 4 ultra stressful things packed on.

Doesn't help that my mom doesn't listen to me and thinks I'm a lazy good for nothing. She says I have done nothing for this Japan trip and I should "eat shit and die". I can understand where that came from. My mom always thinks I do the most horrible thing possible so why not blindly believe it.

It's not like I went to work every weekend for the last two months.
It's not like I am getting two weeks ahead in 5 college courses.
It's not like I don't have a job and yet somehow managed to get $500.
It's not like I started a Japanese 001 class so I could learn the language.

Naw. It's not like any of that. All I do is sit in my room all day and play computer games. I don't hang out with friends and family, I don't work hard, I don't dance in circles to please everyone I come in contact with (heaven forbid I have an opinion or needs), and I certainly, never, took responsibility for all my actions and yet mom still thinks I'm being lazy and playing the blame game.

Naw. It's not like any of that.

I want to emphasize that I did go to Valkyrie's and talked to her in person.

I also want to emphasize how my mom didn't give a shit when I didn't go to Casey's last weekend to earn money. Not only that, I make more money at Casey's. I don't want to say that Valkyrie is a horrible person and pays me crap, Valkyrie is a very nice woman with a great family and I wish her the greatest happiness.

Also mom said she wouldn't double my earned money because of this. So instead of going with over $1000, I'll be lucky to go with $700 of my own hard earned money. Which is pretty good considering its been 2 months and I'm jobless.

On a brighter note, everything is good on the friend side of life. Alexander is going through a rough patch but friends are there to help each other and support each other. Brandon is fine. I've been trying to make him do some soul searching and come up with a goal in life. We'll see how that workes out ;>.>

Hahah! Being uncensored is fun!

Thank You for the Venom by My Chemical Romance

I'm an addict for dramatics, I confuse the two for love!

Are we Human or are we Dancers?

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will


Music is like poetry to me. The lyrics are all poems to my heart.