Well...I feel like crap. Did some one on one role playing with Aelphais and I hurt his feelings. I could feel it...the hammer falling on the last nail in his coffin. Only I did nothing to stop it. If anything I encouraged it.
I am a bad Story Teller and a worse friend. I took something he cared about and used it to manipulate him. How low can you go? I could feel it slowly coming on, the death of our World of Darkness campaign. There were too many character transitions and plot rushing. I took our best player and just screwed him over. I fucked everything he had over. I betrayed old promises to him.
Maybe I should stop being vague. Aelphais has a retainer named Lilianne who would never betray him and never leave his side but after Aelphais made some decisions, I role played Lilianne to hate vampires and hate Aelphais for his choices. It was horrible.
I never pre-thought any of this out or anything but I became insane by my power. I sacrificed story for player wants and NPC personality. I'm sitting here on the verge of tears because I took the only thing that made Aelphais stand out and ripped it away from him.
The worst part is that I saw this coming from a mile away. It was so tiny then. It wasn't anything huge or even something to worry about but then suddenly we were there at the marker and I did what I wanted to prevent. I knew Aelphais would become deeply connected to his character and he did. I knew he would place real emotions into his actions and he did.
Fuck...I'm sorry. Maybe there's a way to fix it...but that doesn't matter. You can't fix something that's broken, you can only make it functional again. The damage is still done and will never go away.
I've been falling in old pitfalls; letting my opinion break into people's lives and forcing it on them. Taking things people did want and shoving it into their faces. I can't believe I'm falling for it all again.
I can't help but feel I've destroyed a great friendship today.
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